Are They All Yours???

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I think anyone who has more than the common 2 children family, anywhere in the industrialised, developed world will get stares. And here in Singapore, where the birth rate is a dismal 1.24 per home, having 5 children, 8 & under, invites many jaw dropping, sometimes very rude stares. We often get the “Are they all yours?” question & once a couple even took a bet to see if the children were all ours!!!So why do we have so many children? Afterall, the attention is not welcomed. And no, I do not particularly like children! Remember, I started out not wanting to get married or have children

There are 2 main reasons :

1. Children are God’s rewards.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they content with their enemies in the gate. Ps 127:3 – 5

Children are little blessings that the Lord sends down to us! We almost never say no to blessings of a fatter bank account or a bigger house or a bigger car. But how many times have you seen people shrink back in horror (mock or otherwise) when you ask them if they would like to have more children?

What does this say about society & its view on children? Children are not blessings. As someone wrote in our local newspaper recently, children are often viewed as a liability, not an asset. I do not deny that the little people are hard work! That is a fact. But the work you do for them & on them has eternal repercussions. Working at the office does not

The Bible clearly say that children are blessings. But many, in today’s world, Christians included, do not see them as such. In fact barreness is celebrated! But when viewed through the eyes of scriptures, barreness is a curse from the Lord! Not something to covet.

2. God is the one who opens & closes wombs.

We did not start out being quiverful. (The term “quiverful” is used when families trust in the Lord to plan the number of children they have & the space between them.) Like all intelligent & practical couples, we were going to have the lovely perfect 2-child family.

And lo & behold, when we had 1 boy & 1 girl, everybody told us that we can “close shop”. But as I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I came across an email group that discussed being quiverful. It was a strange & alien concept to me. Afterall, God gave us brains, right?

So why should we throw away our brains & let God lead & plan our lives? And remember, I did not particularly like children & have never been one to coo & ahh over babies. We definitely did not want a large family. Two is more than enough, thank you!

And yet, something about the quiverful philosophy spoke to me & I shared it with dh. We came to the same conclusion. We say we that we trust God, that He is in control & He knows best. We put our lives into His hands & yet here we are trying to control our own fertility. (Do we actually have control over our fertility???) And what does that say about our faith in Him? If we say that the Bible is right, that children are blessings & rewards from God, then why are we saying NO to more babies?

For me, there was only 1 reason why I was saying no – selfishness. Having more than 2 babies would inconvenience me even more than what I was dealing with! Children are hard work. Having more babies meant that I would have to postpone many of my dreams – to do what I like & when I like. And to be thin!!! Lol! Like I said, they were selfish reasons.

So in an act of faith, we decided to take God at His word & trust God to plan out the number of children He has for us & even the spacing of the children. It has been an exciting adventure as we were then very quickly blessed with 5 children in 7yrs!

Is it easy? Nope! The faith walk is never easy & we thank God that He knows how weak our faith is & is ever so gracious to meet us at our level. We freely admit that sometimes we worry that we could have 12 children or more at this rate till I hit menopause!

Especially on those days when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. But this line of thought is presumptious & boastful. It may or may not happen.

May this challenge you if you are thinking about having another child but think you are being impractical. Following God does not seem practical. What He calls us to do may not seem wise. But whose standards are we following when we say something is impractical or unwise? God’s? Or the world’s system?

So yes, they are all ours!

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