Be Encouraged is the Mother’s Day message I had the privilege and honour of sharing at my home church, Full Gospel Singapore (FGA) on 7th and 8th May 2016. To prevent reading fatigue, I have split it up into 8 parts.
I have edited slightly and I have also added some questions at the end for us to ponder. I hope you will be blessed.
Mother’s Day sharing at FGA Singapore
Good morning! It is with great fear and trembling that I am standing before my own church to speak and share. The last time I did a Mother’s Day message was at another Church and so, as I had mentioned to Nalinee when she invited me to speak, it is way scarier to speak at your home Church than at another Church because if you deliver a boring or out of point message, you still have to return and face the people, week after week! So I was rather reluctant to say “Yes”. I told her that I was scared. But she said it is ok because apparently at FGA the motto is: “We do it scared!”.
And then, while procrastinating by surfing the net instead of doing my work, I saw on Michael Hyatt’s website, a quote that said, “More often than not, being brave means doing it scared.”
So here I am, apparently being very brave!
An introduction – My story, the abridged version
In case you don’t know who I am, because sometimes in Church you sort of know someone by face, but not by name. And even those we know by name, we don’t really know their story or anything about them. So here is a little introduction about me. My name is Serene, a name which I am still trying to live up to, more than 40 years later, or, for almost 50 years, as David, our oldest likes to remind me since I am closer to 50 than 40!
I guess the first obvious thing you may know about me is that I am Henson‘s wife. We have been married 21 years this year. The next obvious thing most people know about me or about us is that we have 7 living children, this side of Heaven, 5 girls and 2 boys. Our oldest child is David, who is 18 this year and our youngest is Anna Joy who is 7. And no, there are no twins (thank God!). I know that having 7 children sounds incredulous in Singapore whose total fertility rate is 1.25 on average. But what is more amazing to me is that I birthed all of them pain-free except the first. Their birth stories are truly a testament to the wonderful design of our bodies by our Creator. In fact, our youngest was born at home and caught by Henson, weighing in at a hefty 4.3kg! Only God. It was a truly amazing though messy experience.
David actually said that for today’s sharing all I had to do was share each of their birth stories, 5 minutes each, throw in a short intro and conclusion and I would be all done! But I don’t think anyone wants to sit and listen to 7 birth stories, exciting though they all were!
One birth story
So I will just briefly share Deborah’s birth story as her entry was the most dramatic of them all. Deborah, who is almost 9 this year, was birthed as I was wheeled into the A & E department of Mt Alvernia Hospital because no one believed me when I said that the baby was coming. I have after all only birthed 5 other children before her! :::sarcasm:::
So they did not manage to get me into the Labour and Delivery Ward in time. The doctor on duty at the A & E had just finished putting on his gloves when she shot out and he caught her just in time. A split second delay and she would have landed on the floor! I can still see that scene in my mind’s eye. And then the awed silence. Everyone just stared at the screaming baby. Very dramatic indeed!
I guess in comparison, seven-year-old Anna’s unplanned homebirth was a much calmer though way messier birth. In the aftermath of that birth, our bedroom looked like a crime scene out of CSI! If you want to read more, you can check out my blog at Building Up Moms.
Miscarriages
But what many do not know is that we also have 4 glory babies waiting for us, safe in the arms of Jesus. And I would like to remember them whenever I can, because miscarriages and stillbirths are something not commonly acknowledged but should be, especially on Mothers’ Day. For those who have experienced it, I grieve with you. But our mourning shall be turned to dancing in time to come because our hope is in Jesus!
Most people assume that I am a very maternal person or that Henson and I love children a lot, looking at our family size. But no. We were not. And we still are not. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined that I would be given these blessings to steward for God. In fact, people who know me when I was younger often exclaim in shock (or horror) that I have 7 children.
Homeschoolers
We are also homeschoolers (yes, it is legal in Singapore) which means that I am officially the children’s teacher. I say officially because actually the children mostly teach themselves and only come to me if they can’t figure things out by themselves. Once I have taught them how to read and do basic maths (addition/subtraction/multiplication/ division), they are on their own. Some earlier, some later.
We have been homeschooling since 2004 and have done so out of obedience to the Lord’s call. Seriously, if it had been up to me, I would have gladly sent them off to school and join everyone else in griping about how competitive it is and how busy the children are! But God said, “Homeschool them”. So we did. We have, to date, survived 4 PSLEs and have 3 more to go! And yes, we will be affected by the latest MOE PSLE changes that will take effect from 2021 – exactly the year our youngest has to sit for PSLE, God willing and if Jesus doesn’t come first! Imagine that!
My 4 Nevers
I never thought I would be living the life I am living now. There were four nevers I lived by before I surrendered my life to Jesus as Henson would always say. And these are, in no particular order of importance.
(After Saturday’s sharing, Henson said I should add a 5th NEVER – I would never be a pastor’s wife!)
The irony of it all! Indeed, be careful what you say never to! I was largely what you would call a feminist, believing that a woman is as equal if not more equal to a Man, that women did not need men and that submission is a dirty word! But God has a way of making you eat your prideful words. So here I am, A Christ follower, a wife and a homeschooling, stay-at-home-mother of 7! So be careful what you declare especially if it contains the word, “never” in it!
Encourage mothers!
Back to today’s sharing. Before I accepted the invitation to speak, I asked God if He wanted me to accept the invitation and if yes, what He would want me to share. Well first, He said to accept the opportunity to share and then, He said He wanted me to ENCOURAGE MOTHERS.
I laughed.
I was the one who needed encouragement and here was the Lord asking me to go and encourage mothers. How was I to encourage mothers when I have got nothing?! But as the months went by, the impression grew stronger.
Because which one of us, as mothers, whether a young mother or an older mother, have never felt discouragement when we look at our offspring? How many times have I looked at the children the good Lord gave to us and think – oh no! What have I gotten myself into? I should have just stayed childless! I can’t do this, Lord! And this feeling of being overwhelmed and discouraged was often strongest when I was pregnant, exhausted and dealing with a baby and a toddler combo.
His grace IS enough
I remember those days where I would just stand at kitchen window overlooking the CTE (yeah, not a pleasant view but that’s the view we had for 10 years) and crying. And I would keep telling the Lord – I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! And always, always, always, He would whisper –
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” NLT
And I would submit. tears flowing. And He always comes through. Always. Even now, when I am not pregnant or looking after babies and toddlers. I still feel overwhelmed. We are getting to the stage of releasing and launching our older children into the world and I am not quite sure how exactly I feel about that! Naturally, I worry if we had taught them what they needed to not just survive but thrive and shine for Jesus, and, if the values we had been imparting to them had been absorbed.
But whenever I start feeling this way – discouraged, overwhelmed, in tears, gripped with worry, I remember His words… My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.
Be encouraged!
And so, this message is as much for you as it is for me. Regardless of which stage of mothering you are at, the Lord wants us all to BE ENCOURAGED!
The Lord wants us to be encouraged as we take on and embrace motherhood! Yet, this message is also for those who are not mothers, please do not go to sleep! We need you! You need to be our encourager! It is said that you need a village to raise a child. And then some wise guy added – but I looked at the village and I didn’t like it!
I don’t fully agree with the saying because it is the parents’ responsibility to raise their child/ren. But the village we live in can make our job easier or harder. Look at what is happening to the larger “village” at work. It is pushing for more and more rights for the liberals in the name of equality and rights. Look at the state of the United States and be warned. Whatever they are pushing for there will soon come to our shores. Things like teaching sex education to preschoolers. And toilets that now must be genderless because it is too discriminatory to label a toilet male and female. That village is a hard one to raise our children in!
I hope our FGA Family is a village that upholds God’s values and is an encouraging one to mothers and fathers trying to raise their children for the Lord! Especially since we have been having an explosion of weddings and births lately! Newlyweds need to be encouraged to have babies – as soon as possible, please! And new mothers need to be encouraged as they endure sleeplessness during their early days!
So what does the Lord want mothers to be encouraged to do? To be?
…To be continued next week!…
Some Questions to Ponder Upon
- Have you ever felt discouraged, overwhelmed as a mother?
- How do YOU get yourself out of it when you do?
- Which area of mothering do you need the most encouragement in?
Links and posts referenced in this post include :
- Henson’s Blog, One Day At A Time
- Motherhood is a Ministry
- Deborah’s Birth Story
- Anna’s Birth Story
- Miscarriage
- Why do we homeschool?
The full series of Be Encouraged
- Part 1 – Be Encouraged: Introduction
- Part 2 – Be Encouraged to see motherhood as a ministry
- Part 3 – Be Encouraged to see our children as blessings
- Part 4 – Be Encouraged to fix our eyes on Jesus
- Part 5 – Be Encouraged, not afraid
- Part 6 – Be Encouraged while living out the daily grind of life
- Part 7 – Be Encouraged to know that He is the God-Who-Sees
- Part 8 – Be Encouraged and embrace motherhood wholeheartedly
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