How many times have I been there on this journey of motherhood?
Many.
And that feeling of overwhelm can be terrifying. You just want to run away. You don’t even want to bother to beat the overwhelm. Why bother? Too tired anyway.
In the early days, it was mostly triggered by the lack of sleep, the lack of support and the sheer number of children. Nowadays it is the realisation that I actually have very little time left to impart what I need to impart to the children before they get launched out into the world. And I am breaking out in cold sweat over how fast time is flashing past me. The task at hand is enormous and seems insurmountable. These are the times I wonder – what if I had not agreed to this motherhood gig? What if I had continued living for myself? And self-pity threatens to barge into my mind and take over.
Feeling out of control
Why do we feel overwhelmed? I don’t know about you, but for me, but the feeling of being overwhelmed often comes upon me when the things supposedly under my control no longer are. And this often happens when things are happening too fast: too fast for me to get a grip on, or too fast so I can’t even make sense of what is happening.
Faced with the overwhelm, there are two ways we can choose to react – give up or fight harder. But both are incorrect and unhealthy responses. Those who give up will end up depressed and those who fight harder will end up feeling more burned out.
A better way
May I suggest another way, a way which I am in the midst of learning? Go to the One who says, “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Actually, that isn’t the better way, it is the BEST way. Jesus has an open invitation for us to go to Him when we are feeling burned out, overwhelmed, in over our heads, or just plain tired. And He will give us REST.
Let me repeat. He gives us REST. Not more things to add to our To-Do list. He doesn’t want us to worry or strive. He wants us to go to Him for rest.
For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:30
Simple but not easy
Jesus provides us with a solution, a good solution and yet most of us find it so difficult to act on it, isn’t it?
Yet, in order to beat the overwhelm and not burn out, we need to turn to Him, hand Him our To-Do lists and say, “Lord, I cannot. But You can. Tell me what is needful and what is just noise, distraction.” Although He doesn’t magically make all the things on our list go away (don’t we wish He would?!) He refocuses our eyes on what is important.
The ONE thing
And I have a feeling He would answer us as He answered another overwhelmed and distracted woman in the Bible, Martha. That only ONE thing is needful. (Luke 10:42) And that one thing is to sit at His feet and hear His word (Luke 10:39).
Only then can we know what needs to be done for the day. And we will no longer be running around like headless chickens.
Are you sitting at His feet today? Have you received your nourishment from Him and His instructions for the day? Sit at His feet, hear His voice, know His will for you. Obey His instructions. Then I can guarantee you there will be PEACE. CALM.
Because, as Elisabeth Elliot said wisely, “Thy list, not mine, be done.” I did not know she said it until I saw this lovely image (right) done up by Mystie Winckler of Simply Convival.
And we would have beaten the overwhelm. Well, till we look away from Him again 🙂
But what about the To-Do List?
Let’s get practical now. What about the To-Do List? Can we just chuck it away?
Sorry, but no 🙂 But here are some practical steps that have helped me get out of the overwhelm when they hit me. May they help inspire you to think of solutions of your own.
Beat the overwhelm with the brain dump
We can easily be paralysed with fear when we are overwhelmed by the number of things that we need to do. To get out of this, let me recommend that you do is what is popularly called the Brain Dump.
Literally dump out everything in your brain onto a piece of paper. Or you can choose to type it out into a Word Document or App. Just get them out of your head.
Personally, I prefer the pen and paper method. Somehow, writing it out calms me down more than typing it out. But this is your choice.
Then prioritise, giving yourself realistic deadlines. Because there are certain things that NEED to be done today but others can be done tomorrow or even next week, although all are important. For example, both changing bedsheets and menu planning are important. However, changing the children’s bedsheets is not critical compared to menu planning since without it I can’t go grocery shopping and cook.
Next, attack this list methodically. You can use your Brain Dump list as a Master List or you can transfer and schedule the tasks into your planner where you can then take great joy in ticking off or cancelling things off. 🙂
Routines and Schedules
Other practical tips in beating the overwhelm can be found in these other posts:
