Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Cor 15:33 (NIV)
Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
Psalm 1
I have been thinking about this for a while. These verses reminds us that who we mix with has an effect on us – good or bad. We need to be mindful who we choose we friends.
So when a reader of the website wrote to me commenting that :
It’s important that we keep around friends that will always bring us back to the counsel of God. So if we feel that certain people’s company drag us down by causing us to engage in gossip, malice, or make us discontented by comparing to others, then we should either try to exert a godly influence over them, or if not, keep away from them.
I thought that was God’s reminder to me to write this post!
There’s no denying that birds of a feather flock together. And one usually can tell the type a person is by the friends he/she keeps – for better or worse.
So not only do we need to choose our friends wisely, we need to guide our children to do the same. How many times have we heard stories of good kids turn bad due to the negative influence of friends? Sadly, we hear much less of bad kids turned good.
Choosing Our Friends
As SAHMs, we need to choose our friends wisely or we will be pulled down by thoughts of coveteousness and envy. I know someone who was happy to be a mom of many till she met up with other mothers who had less children and more cash. She started wanting to be like these other moms who had time to go for high tea, chit chat and shopping instead of being housebound with her very young children.
Let’s face it, as SAHM with a 24/7 job, which one of us hasn’t entertained thoughts of going back to the workforce? Especially when things at home aren’t going as well as you want it to be. Who you choose to confide in can impact your attitude.
On some really bad days, I would sms a friend and tell her that I quit and shall leave the kids and go back to work. But she would always remind me that we are made of sterner stuff! Then proceed to tell me how she wanted to throw in the towel too! Lol!
My point? A godly friend who builds you up can sympathise and even commiserate in your agonisingly bad days but is always there to help break up the pity party and point you back to God. We need godly friends like these.
We need our friends to build us up, not tear us down. Our friends may not agree with our convictions or parenting method but they need not tear us down. Our friends should be mature enough to agree to disagree instead of taking potshots at us, especially when one is down.
But in practical terms, it is much easier to be with friends who share your beliefs and lifestyle. So choose wisely and be very careful whom you take counsel from.
What about our children’s friends?
If your children attend public school, it is difficult to choose their friends for them. So you may have to counteract the influence of their friends regularly.
If you’d read a recent article in The Sunday Times, a parent commented that because they attend a upmarket pre-school, their children have started to ask for more overseas holidays and branded items.
A friend I spoke to 2 days ago commented that her daughter picked up a lot of flirtaious behaviour when attending pre-school! She has since pulled her out and is homeschooling her.
Another friend did not like her son’s behaviour and speech after attending a particular school. She had to make special appeals to transfer him out of that school.
If your child’s close friend is obnoxious and rebellious but fun to be with, I can guarantee that your young child will be influenced by that kind of behaviour. It appeals to his natural, sin nature.
Yes, friends have an impact on us and our children. The mroe time we spend with these friends, the greater their impact on us.
Beacons of Light?
Ideally, we are to be such beacons of light that people are drawn to us and are changed by us instead of us being changed by them. But realistically and sadly, this is rare.
What About Evangelism?
But does this mean we only mix with godly people? What about the lost? Don’t we have a responsibility to reach out to them? Of course we do! The fine line is to lead them to Christ not have them lead us away from Christ.
Core Circle
My solution to this dilemma? I choose my CORE circle of friends very carefully while befriending the lost and unsaved. And definitely take my counsel from godly, spirit-filled friends.
May this spur you to think about the friends you have. It may be time to lessen contact or even terminate relations with friends who are exerting a less than godly influence over you.
And you would definitely want to remove ungodly friends from your child/ren while you still are able to. If they are matured enough, teach them how to choose friends (one day they will get it! Lol!). So that in time to come, you can release them and trust that they will, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, be prudent in their choice of friends.