8 Ways to Deal with Dreariness

How do you deal with dreariness?

As the circuit breaker drags on, I feel a need to come up with ways to deal with the dreariness I feel.

Yes, I know that we are almost at the end of the Circuit Breaker now. But unless you have children going back to school, things are still kind of the same, right? Also, who knows if Phase 2 will come to pass since it all depends on being able to keep the rates of infection low.

While I know God has everything under control and I am at this point in time, able to roll with the punches, I still feel a certain sense dreariness.

When asked how I am feeling, I often reply, “mang zhang”* or “sian”* more often than I would like. #keepingitreal

But I didn’t really understand why because in theory things are very much the same for us as a family. We homeschool, so the children are not affected by home-based learning. Our ministry has always been operated from home which means my husband has always worked from home, going out only for appointments or preaching/teaching engagements.

I am home more often than not and so are my younger children. So why the ennui?

The Merging of Days

While chatting with a few friends, I came to the realization that my days feel dreary because I have nothing to look forward to. Every day looks and behaves the same. It is boring. It is dreary. And then all I want to do is be a spoilt brat going,

But I Don’t Want To!

I don’t want to look on the bright side of things.
I don’t want to mask up, get scanned, then queue to buy groceries which I then have to put away.
I don’t want to go through another piece of schoolwork with the children.
I don’t want to clean the house.
I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to!

It is not that before Covid-19 struck, I was living it up and going places and partying. No, not at all. I am quite happy being home and doing my own thing.

The Dreariness of It All

So what changed?

I have been thinking and analyzing myself and I can think of three reasons:

(a) My Choice Has Been Taken Away

Previously, I chose to stay home and do my own thing. But now, I am NOT to go out, unless it is to run “essential” errands. Which is basically the buying of food, to cook or to eat.

I also am required to be masked up all the time and get scanned and tracked. For those of you with no issues wearing a mask, more power to you. The government issued masks, which I am grateful for, make me feel as if I am being suffocated. Thankfully I have other cloth masks to use. But still, because I have sensitive skin, the mask rubbing against my skin incessantly as I breathe irritates it.

I feel for those who have to work in non-aircon environments and wear a mask the whole day (think hawkers, and cleaners at our housing estates). It is a lot worse for them.

(b) There is Nothing Much to Look Forward To

As a stay-at-home-mom, there always has been dreary days and even dreary seasons that I just had to push on and get through. But there was always something to look forward to: a movie to watch, visits to the pool, field trips, bowling. And of course, a family holiday.

But now, everything is off-limits. A holiday is definitely no longer on the cards. I also don’t foresee us being able to have parties with more than 10 persons (since 5 is the number allowed for now) for a long while. Since our family alone has 9 members, we basically cannot invite anyone over or attend a social gathering as a family.

(c) The Uncertainty is Uncomfortable

I am a person who does not like uncertainty. My children say it has to do with my personality type. Maybe.

Sure, the future is never certain but it is even more so now. No one knows anything: about the virus and the cure, about how the economy will recover (or not), about how schools and businesses should be run, about how we should handle our leisure and spiritual activities., and so on and so forth.

Everything is up in the air. And because of that, rules made today could easily be revoked tomorrow when new information comes out.