Dealing with Special Days

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Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day. All these special days in our calendar.

Whether we celebrate it or not, all mothers like to be appreciated and it IS nice to be publicly acknowledged on a day like Mother’s Day.

But with a caveat: if you have children old enough to celebrate you or a very hands-on husband who helps the children celebrate you.

And this has become clearer in these days of social media. If you are on Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, etc, you would have seen photos and/or videos posted by your friends of the beautiful and thoughtful gifts of breakfast in bed, flowers, cards or even jewellery given to your mom friends.

How Will It Be For You?

Do you look forward to these special days? Or do you dread them? Does your family remember your special days? Or do you have to remind them?

And when you finally get your gift, will you be happy with what you get? Will it make you feel special? Loved? Appreciated?

Or will you be angry and upset that despite the reminders, they forgot? Or worse, made a mess that you had to clean up.

Special Days and Social Media

I think that is the whole problem with days deemed “special” by society in these days of social media. Be it Valentine’s Day or Mother’s/Father’s Day or even your birthday.

You may start out thinking you don’t really care whether you receive a gift or not. But then you see the gifts your friends receive and you start feeling a tad jealous or resentful or even bitter that no one cares enough to even write a note of appreciation. We start comparing and start feeling upset.

What Should Our Reaction Be?

So what are we to do?

1. Be Honest

If your love language isn’t gift-giving, then tell your family. And if you really do not want a fuss over something like Mother’s Day, tell them too, and mean what you say. If, despite what you tell them, they choose to make that day a special one, be gracious about it and receive their tokens of love with appreciation.

2. Ask For What You Want

But if you really would like to at least have breakfast in bed, even if it is hotcakes from MacDonald’s, or go out for dinner, say it. And not just before dinner.

There’s no shame telling them what you want. Let not our Asian reticence make us martyrs. Stay-At-Home-Mothers, work very hard, 24/7. And if we cope without live-in or parttime helpers, we get no off days.

Just say, “It would be nice if we went out for dinner on Mother’s Day.” Or if you have older children, “It would be nice if you guys could make me breakfast in bed as a special treat.”

3. Celebrate Yourself

Now, if your husband or children are truly dense and do not get it, celebrate yourself. Don’t act the martyr, sulk and be all miserable. Order dinner in, take a nap, read a non-fiction book, eat some chocolates. Don’t wait for someone to appreciate you. You appreciate you!

And now for some tough love.

Don’t Act Entitled

Most of the time, we get all upset because we feel that we are entitled to special days and special treatment. I am NOT saying you do not deserve to be treated special. But can you see that it is our expectations that makes us unhappy?

We expect to be treated right. We feel entitled to it. But why? It is our attitude that has led us to feel the way we do. Let us not go there. Let us, in “whatever (we) do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” Colossians 3:23, NKJV.

And please remember, regardless of whether Man appreciates the work of your hands or even you, I know God does. He sees us, He sees the work we do. Let us then do our best do everything as unto the Lord.

Keep on keeping on, sisters! Regardless of whether it is a special day or not.

Related Posts

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Be Encouraged Because He is a God Who Sees
Thank You!

*Contact @letters.by.ruth if you want customised artwork. Commission specially custom-designed cards and posters for your friends and family.

*Post originally posted on 13 May 2014. Updated 2 May 2020.

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