DISHING OUT ADVICE WHEN YOU HAVE A LARGE FAMILY
is part of the Write 31 2017 Challenge.
Read 31 Days of Life in a Large Homeschooling Family for more posts.
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Just last week, my children asked me why I don’t write about teenagers on the blog. Henson wisely said, “She would only write about them when you have all left home!”
Yep.
Dishing Out Advice
There are lots of people out in the Internet world dishing out advice on anything and everything.
And I know that people expect that someone with more children than them to be wiser than them. So maybe that is why people will look to families like ours for advice.
But let me tell you that that is not necessarily true that someone with a large family is wiser than someone with a smaller one. Because, someone can have a large family but keep making the same mistakes with all their children.
And for those of us with a large family, we need to be careful when we give advice. Many people are unable to separate the principle of what is shared with the practical application.
Just keep praying
The reason I don’t write much about raising teens and am definitely not dishing out any advice on raising them is because I am in the throes of it with 4 of them in the house. And one at the cusp of it.
My only advice on raising teens is to KEEP PRAYING. To humble ourselves and go on our knees before God. To pray for wisdom on how to parent and love them. And also, to pray for wisdom when gleaning advice from so-called experts on the internet.
Related Post: The Greatest Weapon in Christian Parenting
Be discerning
Don’t blindly accept advice from anyone. This is especially true in today’s easily accessible information on the internet.
To prove a point, recently, I came across a blog post from someone who wanted to share her tips on “launching” her child into the world. Sounds good, right? Except that she had only launched ONE child. And she was not just sharing her experience but positioning herself as quite the expert. She’s not the only one. There are many “experts” out there who claim that if we follow their ways we will have children as successful and fantastic as theirs.
Related Post: Trusting God and Not a Parenting Formula
Hmmm…I can tell you for sure that it is far easier to dole out advice than to live out that advice. And what we think of as success in our parenting “skills” can very quickly turn around and slap us on the face the next day.
A lot of times what works in the now does not work later. But these “experts” don’t tell us that. So, be careful.
It’s the same principle
All I would say is that the principle behind raising teens is the same as raising any age child – lots of love and affirmation. Constant encouragement and a healthy dose of tough love.
But how it actually works out can be very different in each family. And this is where godly wisdom and discernment come into play.
So while I gladly write about the baby, toddler and even pre-teen stage with some authority, I try to remember to qualify my posts to say that these are things that worked for our family.
The teen years
But with the teen years, you will have to wait a while more before I write to share. I won’t be dishing out any advice on the teen years in the near future. What I do know for sure is that the teen years can be fun and rewarding. We can have discussions and spar with one another. It is nice to see them blossom and hold their own in a crowd.
The teen years will, however, also have you second guessing yourself. And realise with horror that what you said you would never do as a younger mother, you are doing it now.
Just one piece of advice
So while I am very careful about dishing out advice just because I have a large family, the one piece of advice that I will give to you is this:
The teen years are when you officially have to start letting go. Start practicing now, release them day by day so that when THE day comes for them to leave you, both of you are ready.