“Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God” 1 Corinthians 10:32
A friend commented in my other post “Where Has Modesty Gone???” that modesty is relative. So that got me thinking – Is modesty really relative? Or is there a modesty standard that good Christian women should adhere to? Afterall, the Bible does not explicitly say “thou shalt not wear a mini skirt” 🙂
Ahhh!!! But it does say that I am not to cause my brother to stumble (1 Corinthians 10:32).
In the past, women were largely covered up. Then the doyens of the fashion industry decided that to be considered fashion forward, skirts and dresses need to be shorter. And everything else should be tighter and more figure revealing.
So much so that now it is really very difficult to find modest attractive clothing. Tops are tight/clingy and low cut or have detailing that draws one’s eye to the bosom. Dresses have high slits. And previously when the trend was for hipsters, it was near impossible to find a pair of pants that sits on one’s waist. After years of being told that THIS is modern and attractive, people have to a certain extent become de-sensitised. Just go down town and you’ll see what I mean. Everywhere you go, you’ll see lots of skin. Especially now with the weather being so hot and humid. It’s a great excuse to wear even less than usual!
To put it bluntly, it used to be that one could tell if a woman was a streetwalker by the style of clothing she wore. But not now. As an American celebrity said in the newspapers recently, “porn is now mainstream – just look at our newscasters”. 😀
Ladies, in case you are not aware, most, if not all men are visually oriented compared to women. This means a man and a woman take away different things when they look at the same object. What we see as a little cleavage may cause a man to have lustful thoughts.
So what? You may say. That’s his problem, not mine. He just has to learn to control himself. Yes, that is true. But by exposing your cleavage or belly or thigh, you have contributed to his lustful thoughts. And has caused him to stumble.
I am not saying dress dumpily or frumpily. But be aware that our dressing can cause our the men around us to stumble. And if you are secretly pleased that you are able to do that, then hmmm……….perhaps it is time to ask yourself why do you need to expose some skin to feel/look attractive?
Personally I find it very distracting and uncomfortable to talk to someone who’s flashing her bosom at me. Or if I can see her bra under the sheer top she is wearing. What more for a man? And I do wonder what the woman’s dh feels to have every Tom, Dick and Harry looking at her chest?
Oh and ladies be aware that you can expose yourself unintentionally when you bend forward in a too loose top or squat down in your hipster pants/skirt 🙂 And as moms, we tend to do a lot of bending over and squatting down.
Because I do not want to cause a brother to stumble, I would say that while I can dress anyway I like, I will try my best to remember to not cause grief to someone else. Now if only I know how to sew, it’d make finding attractive clothes so much easier! 🙂
4 Comments on Do not cause anyone to stumble
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This is all very true! We are indeed our “brother’s keeper” in many ways.
Jesus said that if a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, that he has committed adultery in his heart. It follows that if a woman dresses and/or acts in a way to incite that lust, she is partaker in his adultery.
Hey Serene, I really appreciate your stand in modest dressing. It’s truly important not to cause a brother or men to stumble by how we dressed.
When i tell my christian relatives what they are wearing is immodest( mini shorts/skirts,bra straps revealed in their spag straps), I get *rolled eyes* responses from them. How sad!
I have difficulties finding modest clothings for my older girls and have resorted to paper patterns from spotlight.
Told my girls also that we don’t have to go with flow of fashion, as long as we are neat and modest.
Have a Blessed day!
i must qualify myself.
i think i meant relative not so much from person to person as from society to society and from age to age. i was contrasting it between our society and say, the mainly muslim society i witnessed in trengganu. there, what we find perfectly acceptable here would still be considered immodest. and if you take it further, in some other societies unless you’re covered head to toe n veiled too you are still immodest.
also, different societies have different sensitive spots. to me, it is illustrated in different societies’ traditional dress. eg the cheong sam may be buttoned up to the neck but with a slit up to there is not quite modest but most would consider it appropriate dress for many occasions. the sari, even tho it wraps its wearer in yards of cloth reveals a bare midriff but is considered appropriate and proper where it came from. and the sarong kebaya, translucent, form fitting top, tight sarong, need i say more?
i know tt’s not quite your point but i kinda meant it in a broader sense. : )
and lest you think i flash flesh regularly, i am, by most of today’s standards quite prudish.
: )
Speaking of this, I was at Suntec yesterday with the family. Saw a young girl wearing a super short pair of shorts (can’t tell if it was denim), but I could see the butt cheeks (is that what you call them) being squeezed out, looks like someone wearing bikini. She wore a long top over it, so looks like she’s not wearing anything below…. I commented loudly to dh who was paying at the cashier. He actually told me off, “Do you need to say so loudly?1”.:{