Training children to be helpers take such a long time to bear fruit. And that is why many of us give up too soon. After all it is usually much faster and easier to get something done yourself (and correctly!) than to teach a child, especially an uninterested one.
But don’t give up. Truly they do get it!
Take our family for instance. I absolutely dislike allowing our children to paint and to play with play doh. Yes I know – mean mama whose kids are going to grow up totally dysfunctional coz they didn’t get to express their artistic bent via paints and play doh 😀 But you do know why I abhor it right? The mess! Throw in a toddler and a baby and it drives me nuts.
But here’s where training comes in.
There was a weekend when dh was not around and #1 asked to be allowed to paint. Obviously my immediate response was a “no!!!” But I managed to control myself and said, “Only if you set it up and clean up after that.”
He must have been most desperate keen to paint that he agreed to it. And not only that, he offered to help the younger ones as well! As I nursed the baby he got some old newspapers and taped them to our dining table. He took out the drawing pads, paint, brushes, paint palette, water, cloth – the whole works by himself! He managed to rope in #2’s help.
The kids all had a ball painting and when they were done, the 2 of them cleaned and packed up everything. It really encouraged me to know that they had been observing me all this while and learning how to prepare the art supplies and clean up after they are done. Oh – he even got the scolding of the little ones down pat! 🙂
And then recently, I relented and allowed the children (7, 6, 4 and 2) to play with play doh. Again, the same deal was issued – play and then clean up. No bits & pieces on the floor for crawling baby to pick up. And they did it! They cooperated with each other and even reminded each other to wash their hands after being done!
So don’t give up moms. All the training we do with them, all the messes we have to clean up after them when we are teaching them a chore, it will all bear fruit one day. I don’t know when that one day is but it’ll come!
Reminds me of the verse in Galatians 6:9 – “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”
1 Comment on Don’t Give Up Training Your Children
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Hi Serene
I so agree with you. At times I lose patience, at times I give in to exasperation, but most times, I try to press on.
Reading your post reminds me of what happened today — Painting Day!
I laid out ds’s paints and brushes on the floor in the living room, and placed a plastic sheet next to it. I had to go into the bedroom to get something so he was alone for a couple of minutes. When I came back, it was a pleasant surprise to find that he transferred all the items onto the plastic sheet, and started pouring individual colours into the palette. Not bad for a boy who just turned 3!! *applause*
My next disappearance into the room (not deliberate!) to get something else brought another surprise. I was making Christmas printouts for ds to paint and the printer’s in the study. Then the silence in the living room got a little uncomfortable. (Mothers, we all have that innate instinct, don’t we?)
I went out to check, and found faint traces of paint on the floor. Initial reaction was to give him a scolding, but I figured he must have cleaned up some mess given the faint-ness of the paint. Lo and behold, in the wastebin near him were copious pieces of tissue he had used to clean up the paint he spilt. I was very impressed. But more so, very gratified that my dear son has caught the practice of tidiness and cleaning up after himself.