“Should we continue homeschooling after PSLE?“
This is a common question homeschooling parents and children in Singapore ask ourselves and each other during the PSLE year and especially after PSLE.
It is a valid question indeed.
The reasons we started out homeschooling may have changed as the years have flown by. Needs (emotional/spiritual/financial) change. Family dynamics change.
It is a good time to re-examine the decision to homeschool and ask if the reason/s still hold.
Here is a recent (and common) question I received from fellow homeschooling parent. It has been edited to make it more general.
Questions to Ask
For every parent contemplating if they should continue homeschooling beyond PSLE, it is good to pause here and ask:
- What are your original reasons for homeschooling?
- Have they changed as you homeschooled the primary school years?
- Has your child expressed a desire to continue or not to continue homeschooling?
- Why does he* feel that way?
- Are his* reasons valid?
*I am using he/his for convenience but am referring to both male and female children.
Are the Questions Valid?
Once you have thought through the above questions, let us address if the questions (accusations?) thrown at us when we tell people that we will be continuing to homeschool beyond PSLE are valid.
Side note: it is easy to get very defensive. Ask me how I know. Although normal, this reaction, however, is not helpful. Let us try to look at their comments objectively, and ask if the points they raise are true and if so, how to deal with them should we decide to continue to homeschool.
So, let’s address the two most common comments we get.
Releasing Them
This is a common comment I have heard personally about the need to send the children to school. It has even come from homeschoolers who use it to justify their decision to send their children into the system to those who have decided not to.
“It is time to release them. You can’t shelter them forever you know?”
Well, first of all, not all parents homeschool to shelter their children from the “big, bad world”. Yes, some do. And some have to because their child has special needs, but this isn’t true of all homeschooling parents.
Besides, sheltering our children isn’t a bad thing you know? Ask a parent whose child has been exposed to porn by his classmates what she thinks of sheltering.
Next, unless one takes the term “homeschool” literally and does not allow one’s child out of the house at all, a homeschooled child does and will interact with his community and the society at large on a regular basis.
There is, therefore, no need to “release them” – like animals?! – into the world. They are not prisoners. You only release people/animals when they have been held in captivity, no?
The Real World
While I agree that the homeschool community or church community is not representative of the “real world”, may I also say that public schools are not representative of the real world either. #justsaying
Fun Fact #1: Public school is not the real world
It is also a socially constructed community where, as my daughter who is in university recently commented (paraphrased), “Everything is laid out for them. They just need to follow the system. No need to think.”
Also, where else in the world do you find yourself working with and interacting with 30+ people of the same age as you, doing almost exactly what you are doing?
Certainly, Life is not like that at all.
Solution
If you really feel that your child is rather sheltered, then start exposing them to the “real world”. Look for opportunities to serve the community at large.
There are so many non-governmental organisations (NGOs) nowadays that are looking for volunteers. Otherwise, reach out to places like the Singapore Zoo, SPCA and even the National Library. They all offer volunteering opportunities.
This not only gives them to be exposed to the real world but is also great for padding up their resumes.
Challenge Their Faith
Related to releasing them is the argument that our children need to be exposed to the real world to test their faith.
Fun Fact #2: All of us will have our faith tested, and tested regularly.
Without testing, our faith cannot grow or be strengthened. But is it necessary to send our children into schools to have their faith tested?
Have you ever dealt with an illness that refuses to leave you? Have you prayed to God to help you with a difficult sibling relationship that God is seemingly not answering?
Is your faith not tested in these scenarios? Neither occurred in a school setting.
I am not trying to be funny. My point is that our children’s faith (and ours) will be tested and tested regularly. It is the only way our faith muscle can grow and be made strong. They need not go to school to experience it.
There is another assumption here: the challenge to our children’s faith will not come from the Christian/Church community.
Fun Fact #3: Our faith can be challenged by fellow Christians
Yes, it happens. And not in a positive way where the pastor or youth leader challenges them to live out their faith confidently. But rather, when they encounter some within the Christian community (who may be their leaders) that do not behave in Christlike ways or live with integrity. Their faith will be rocked.
Solution
If you are really concerned, talk to them about their faith. Encourage them to ask questions. Encourage them to step out of their homeschool and Christian “bubble”.
Share and discuss current events in your homeschool. Personally, I like to read them current media news coverage and engage them in thinking through the issues.
Perhaps a course in apologetics is helpful.
Are the Teenage Years the Best Time?
Just a thought about releasing them into secondary school.
Is 13, when puberty hormones hit full-on, the right time to release them into the “world”? This is the age when they are figuring out just who they are, pushing boundaries and testing tolerance levels of all those around.
This is exactly when peer pressure hits the child like a ton of bricks. And those who are less confident feel the most stress. Think about it.
Socially Inept
“Homeschoolers have a hard time adjusting to the Army/University.” “They don’t like to mix with the other children and often keep to themselves.”
Ahhh! Variations of the socialisation question. Homeschooling parents often get the “What about socialisation?” question. EVEN after they have interacted with our homeschooled children. And so we can expect this to be the other common question we get.
Yes, there are socially inept homeschoolers. But there are also socially inept public schoolers.
Fun Fact #4: There are socially awkward public schoolers
Before anyone can conclude that homeschooling is the cause of their social ineptness, we ought to ask – what does it mean to be socially inept?
Just because a child prefers not to be in the limelight or make small talk does not make him socially inept. Is he really “socially awkward” because of homeschooling or could it be just his laid back personality? He may just prefer socialising with a small intimate circle of friends.
We all know of people who are weird and socially awkward and they have gone to public schools all their life. Why do we not attribute their weirdness and awkwardness to being public-schooled?
Solution
If, however, your child is socially awkward, then be intentional in teaching him the appropriate social skills. It is never too late to start. We are still reminding our teenagers what is appropriate and inappropriate social etiquette.
If you need a more structured programme, they can consider joining the Institute for Cultural Communicators for Christ. In their mission to “enlarge a global community empowering next generation Christians to influence today’s culture”, ICC provides many platforms for the youths to engage with each other and the community.
Pros and Cons of Homeschooling Beyond PSLE
And now we will discuss the pros and cons of homeschooling beyond PSLE.
I know you know this. But I will still say it:
In every decision we make, there are pros and cons.
– Building Up Moms –
Because that is life.
There is no perfection this side of heaven.
Pros of Homeschooling Beyond PSLE
Here, I am sharing a non-exhaustive list of pros and cons that we have experienced. Please feel free to comment below and add your own.
The Child Learns at His Own Pace – finally
Once we clear the PSLE benchmark, we are no longer under the purview of the Compulsory Education Law. So we can really allow our child to progress at his own pace. There are no more national level exams (ie PSLE) that we must take by a certain age. So the child can speed forward or slow down as needed.
But one does have to be mindful of NS requirements and its timeline if your child is a male citizen. My Post PSLE Homeschooling FAQs mentions timelines under the section on Boys and NS.
Freedom in Subject and Curriculum Choice
Sure, we get to choose the curriculum we wish to use in the primary school level but it is all subject to MOE’s approval (sad but true). After PSLE however, we have a lot more freedom to pick and choose both the curriculum and subjects the child wants to take, bearing in mind the end goal/s for your child.
But do note that some curricula require you to take their specific subject combination if you want them to give you an accredited certification. Eg. Abeka, TPS.
And of course, unlike students in public schools, our child does not need to do 8 or 9 subjects in one year. We could, but we don’t have to. If your child only wants to do 5 subjects, he does 5 subjects.
But again, please bear in mind the end goal/s for your child. As I had written in What’s Next After PSLE,
Before you even decide what you want your child to do post-PSLE,
– Building Up Moms –
you need to consider where you want your child to end up.
What is your end goal for him/her and what is his/her own end goal?
…entry into our local polytechnics/universities, entry into overseas universities, entry into a trade school,
or perhaps start a business?
If you are aiming for entry into a particular institution, check out their current requirements for application and entry. If you are planning your child to take an entrepreneurial route, check out requirements for that route.
Control Over Our Time
Unless one is taking online live streaming classes (eg with TPS), we have the freedom to choose when to start and end school, and when we want to take our breaks.
Teenagers need to feel in control of their time and learn time management skills. We also need to start handing over the responsibility of their work back to them.
More Free Time
Your child will have a lot more time to develop and explore hobbies and interests. There will also be more time with family leading to better and closer relationships.
Cons of Homeschooling Beyond PSLE
Let us not sugarcoat the cons of homeschooling, whether it is for the primary school years or beyond PSLE. And some of it is specific to Singapore.
It IS Expensive
Singapore’s highly subsidised public schools make homeschooling ridiculously expensive. I know people have said that if we include tuition fees, it is on par with homeschooling. Citizens pay just $5/month if one is in a local public secondary school. Fees are higher for those in Independent schools.
No, it isn’t. Firstly, not every child needs tuition. Secondly, it isn’t just about tuition and school fees. There is also the co-curricular activity (CCA) component. Joining a CCA offered by schools is always cheaper (free?) than joining one on your own. And some CCAs are only offered through schools.
Also, group sports are harder to come by in a homeschool community. Thankfully, a few resourceful mothers have banded together to offer a sports fellowship. For uniform groups, we have the option to join Royal Rangers or Scouts.
But…
Have to Be Hands-On
The onus is thus on the parent to network and reach out to connect with each other in order not to be left out.
Which means that one needs to be very intentional about CCAs and developing our children’s other interests besides academics. This is especially important as the Education Ministry is now harping on developing a holistic child. So, if our child has little or no CCAs then his application to polytechnics and universities will look very bare.
Fully Responsible for Charting your Child’s Academic Path
Similar to being hands-on in sourcing for CCAs for our homeschooled children, we also need to be on the ball about making sure that all the academic qualifications or portfolios our child needs for entry into polytechnics/universities/other institutions of learning are complete and ready. No one will be reminding you of anything. We have to be responsible to get what’s needed.
Fewer Resources
It is a fact that schools have a lot more resources in their hands plus the support of the Education Ministry than we will ever have. Vendors rush to offer MOE their courses and activities, and at subsidized rates while homeschoolers mostly have to pay full fare and are quite often not allowed into their programmes. Thankfully, more vendors are willing to explore working with us nowadays. But we are still at a disadvantage.
Can be Lonely
No one likes to talk about this but whether your child is an extrovert or introvert, homeschooling can be a lonely path. To counteract this, you will have to help them look for activities that will feed their need for community through social activities.
It can be as simple as plugging them into the youth groups in your church community. Or enrolling them in group classes where they can meet other people who have the same interest. Eg, art class, rock climbing, etc.
This is not so much about socialisation but more about their need to find and belong in a community.
And as they hit the teen years, friends suddenly become important. And it has to be friends they seek out themselves. No longer can you just arrange a playdate with your mom friends and hope that children will play together. They want to find their own friends.
And since they have more time than their public school friends, this can make them feel very lonely. They may ask to go to school to fill this need, not realising that school may not provide them with the friends they want or need. You then have to decide what to do with this development.
If you are convicted that homeschooling is the way, then keep praying for opportunities for them to make new friends or for them to develop deeper friendships with those they already are friends with
Too Much Free Time
Yes, this was listed as a pro but it can be a con too since we all know that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Some children get addicted to computer games due to the amount of free time they have. Others engage in other mindless activities like scrolling social media or binge-watching Netflix or Youtube videos.
Why We Continue Homeschooling After PSLE
There seem to be more cons than pros, huh? And yet, here we are, still homeschooling. By the grace of God, we have even managed to graduate three out of our homeschool, two of which are currently in Year One of NUS. One who has been offered a place in NUS there but can only start (God-willing) after completing NS.
Was this our grand plan? There was no grand plan. The grand plan was and is to just obey God. He has not told us to stop homeschooling – yet. No child has insisted on going to school – yet. So, we press on.
But we do seek the child’s opinion in the year they sit for PSLE. We do that to allow them to have a say. We may or may not agree with their decision and as parents, we do have the final say.
Still, we want to hear their heart and decision. If they had wanted to enter the school system, and if they have a school in mind, then the preparations for PSLE will need to be more rigorous. Not just clear the benchmark but meet the required cut-off point (COP) for entry.
So far, five of them decided to continue to homeschool with no hesitation. One said she needed to think about it. Eventually, she too decided to continue to homeschool. Partly because she did not get the COP needed for the school she had her eye on, and partly she did not like certain behaviours she had observed in those who went to school.
Should You Continue Homeschooling After PSLE?
This is a decision that your husband and you, together your child should make. No one else should decide for you unless he/she heard very clearly from God. And even then, you have to pray to discern if that is true.
Needless to say, prayer should be first on the agenda as you decide.
Pray. Pray. And pray some more.
– Building Up Moms –
Remember, do not let people who have no right to your family life or no knowledge of homeschooling sway you in your decision making.
And remember too, that there are challenges with homeschooling and with public schooling. Because neither is perfect. We just do what we can with God’s grace covering us.
And I leave you with this:
Let not fear be the reason you homeschool or not.
Building Up Moms
Homeschooling will not save your child. It is God and Only God. And in the same vein, public schooling will not destroy your child.
God is bigger than any school system.
– Building Up Moms –
May the Lord grant you clarity in your decision and strength for obedience as you seek His will.
Related Posts
- Considering Homeschooling?
- Homeschooling Will Not Save Your Child
- Choosing our High School/Secondary School Curriculum
- All Things PSLE
- Post PSLE Homeschool FAQs
- 7 Lessons I Learned in Sending My Homeschooled Child to Public School