Why is learning to wait for one’s turn considered suffering?
Why is going to bed alone considered a sad and pitiful act?
I found these 2 comments very strange. It came from someone who had just had new addition to the family. And the person considered to be suffering, sad and pitiful is the older child.
What led to these comments?
The 1st comment.
The older child had to wait her turn while the baby was being fed. And on another occasion, the child had to play alone while the baby was tended to. Don’t we all have to learn to wait our turn in life? Why is it such a sad thing to learn this? Why is it considered suffering?
The earlier a child learns this, the less selfish the child grows up to be. Interestingly, the child did not whine or complain about having to wait but it was the guilt of the caregiver that was projected onto the child.
The 2nd comment.
The child previously would not go to sleep unless someone lay with her. But on that day, everyone was pre-occupied. So she helped herself to her milk bottle (already prepared) and went to bed by herself. Instead of being glad that the child showed maturity and sensibility (going to sleep instead of having a meltdown), again, the guilt of the caregiver was projected onto the child.
When I tried to share that the child is sensible and matured, my comments were brushed off and the caregiver just harped on the fact that the poor girl has suffered! 🙄
How strange that we insist to project our own feelings onto the child who does not feel the same way at all.
You may wish to read Preparing Sibling for Baby’s Arrival.