When I had many littles, life with them was much tougher than it is today when I have a 11 and 9 year old. I think it was hardest when I had 3, 5 and under and then when I had 5, 7 and under.
Despite training the older ones to be much more independant than most children their age, they were still children who needed mom’s help most of the time. They needed me to dish out their food, cut it into bite sizes, bathe them, brush their teeth, bring them to the potty, etc…
The worst part of the day was evening time when I had to bathe them and the baby needed to sleep or nurse – and they always want to sleep or nurse in the early days. I couldn’t bathe them earlier as they would mess themselves up during dinner. Many times I would have to leave the baby to cry – or yell in indignation – while I hurriedly bathed those who needed my help.
Cooking was always a nightmare as I often had to cook while holding the baby with the other arm. Meals just had to be simple as I didn’t have time to spend hours in food preparation or cooking. And again, many times I just had to put the baby down and let him/her cry while I cooked as I either needed both hands to cut up the food or fry something.
I think I must have aged 20 years in those days! 🙂
It was only when our oldest turned 9 that I was willing to let him carry the baby. (Btw I think having older girls in this case is more helpful than boys! 🙂 ) But even then he couldn’t handle her when she was fussy and struggled. But today, this boy at 11 is able to calm his baby sister or at least distract her enough till I come and rescue him. Having an extra pair of hands when I am not able to tend to the baby means I am certainly less stressed than when I had 3, 5 and under and it also means that this baby certainly is more privileged than the rest who had no one to hold them when mama was busy.
And then I have the 9 year old who is very good at entertaining the fussy toddler, carrying her down when her nap time is over or washing her hands.
Come evening time when I need to bathe the younger children, the baby can be held or entertained by the older children. It is certainly less stressful than before.
While all the children are all very helpful (even the toddler!) having older helpers is really what makes a difference to me when I compare the early days of our family life with now. And I sure miss their help when they go out with daddy! While I can count on the 4, 6 and 7 year olds to entertain the baby when the older ones are not around, when what the baby wants is to be carried then we would all have to tolerate the crying of an angry baby 🙂
So if you are a mom of many littles, hang in there. It does get easier once you have older helpers. But of course with older children, you’ll also have other issues to deal with. But that’s parenting isn’t it? 🙂
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I may not have many littles (2 only if you count 5 and under as little) but i thoroughly agree abt the little helper bit. I have only 1, dd, who’s 7yo but yes, she’s a great help. I feel very blessed n thankful tt not just is she independent (i only need to roughly supervise her n tell her it’s time for this or that) she also can take care of bb n keep no. 2 occupied and watch out for him.
But she does fight with no. 2 as well n gets irritated with him and now says that she loves baby very much but one day when he gets as big as no. 2 she’s sure she’ll be irritated by him as well n then draws this big drama sigh! Don’t know whether to laugh or lecture her.
I have two 11 year olds through the blessing of stepparent adoption – and today especially they are a lifesaver. We found out our latest baby stopped growing and is expected to miscarry within the next two weeks, and that should take a physical toll we weren’t expecting.
My eldest 11 year old has started milking the two goats twice daily – and can almost do it independently provided the younger goat doesn’t throw a temper tantrum. The younger 11 year old is getting better at following directions which leads to being able to prepare simple meals for our family using electrical appliances, like an indoor grill, the microwave, and the crockpot.
It truly is easier than when we first had 5 children, 8 and under. That was quite a time. But it passes.
Oh I am sorry to hear that! 🙁