I was thinking about this recently : being enthusiastic about certain things and choosing to walk against the tide can come across to some people as being militant rather than enthusiastic.
The more it is against the norm, the louder (literally and figuratively) we tend to get since no one else is on our side. But this can work against us. Because, seriously in life, there is no one-size-fits-all. And some people are just not ready to go against the tide. So instead of winning them over, we just convinced them that we are weird and are to be avoided at all costs 😀
Take breastfeeding. I am all for breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public. But I am also all for breastfeeding discreetly. Breastfeeding moms who choose to nurse exposed to all and sundry because it is their right are doing the rest of the breastfeeding moms a disservice. They give the rest of us a bad name and they frighten potential breastfeeding moms from nursing in public. These new moms think, “Oh no! Is that what people see if I am nursing in public? Then I’d better not breastfeed!” The original intent of promoting breastfeeding has backfired. We end up not encouraging moms to breastfeed but to bottle feed!
Then there is homeschooling. Some overly enthusiastic homeschool moms and dads do heaps for their homeschool. More power to them! I do not begrudge them their energy or dedication but homeschooling need not be like that to be successful. It can be very, very simple. Focus on the 3Rs in their elementary years and then add on the extras IF you can and want to. Focus on PSLE in the last 2 years of primary school and you are done! Everything else is a bonus!
Instead, when these potential homeschool moms and dads look at the huge amount of effort and time and money needed they end up discouraged and fearful, saying, “I think no. I am not crafty/smart/rich/patient/etc…I’d better let the schools and their expert teachers do the job.”
Or they take the spiritual route – enthusiastically telling all that homeschooling is a mandate from the Bible. And that Christians should homeschool. Is it? Homeschooling is biblically sound but it is not a biblical mandate and it is definitely not a salvation issue. Again, instead of encouraging someone to homeschool, we end up alienating the other party and worse come off as some religious nut who is not to be emulated.
I guess this is a reminder to myself that when I share about things I believe in, my passion should come across but so should grace. Because when we are too enthusiastic, we come across as being militant, giving the impression that our way is THE way and everyone who doesn’t do it our way is wrong. We won’t win anyone over to our side that way. Remember the saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” 😀
But also bear in mind that there can be misunderstandings when the sharing is over email or social media because we cannot hear tones (teasing vs angry) and see facial expressions (smiling vs mocking) in the written word.