Part 5 is the final part of My 4 Nevers 5-part series where I share my testimony of how God changed my perspective and mindset on so many things.
Part One: My 4 Nevers (Introductory Post)
Part Two: Never Get Married
Part Three: Never Be A Stay-At-Home-Mother (aka Housewife)
Part Four: Never Have Children
But by the grace of God, I am what I am. 1 Corinthians 15:10, NKJV
Why the 4 Nevers Series?
If you have patiently read through Parts 1 to 4 of My 4 Nevers series, you would have realised that the reason I changed my mind on getting married, trusting God to plan our family and choosing to stay home with the children has to with GOD. Not “god of the universe” or a generic god. But the One, True and Living God.
No, I will not preach here with theological terms and doctrinal outlines. I can’t. Because it will be too hard for me to do it. One day I may just go get a theological degree. One day, because, never say never!
I am sharing my story in the hope that if nothing else, I have planted a seed in you to at least want to find out more about this God who sent His Son to die for all mankind so as to reconcile us back to Him. Because He is a good God, a loving Father.
And if you already know Him, then it is my prayer that through my story, your faith in Him will be deepened. That you will desire to know Him, as you are known by Him.
So What’s My Story?
- Did I have Christian friends who brought me to church? No.
- Was it the influence of the Catholic school I went to for 6 years of my life? No.
- Did I “convert” because I married a Christian man? No.
Then how did I end up accepting that Jesus is the ONLY way to God the Father? Why is an educated person following a religion that claims resurrection power? Well, I am not following a religion. I am following a Person called Jesus, who lived, died and rose again from the dead. And will come again.
If you really and truly are seeking, do check out The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel and Cold-Case Christianity by J Warner Wallace.
Never Be A Christian
Being a Christian was one of My 4 Nevers. I was very clear. I saw no need for God. I did not need a Saviour. I am my own person. I am capable and I am strong, Only the weak need help from the spirit world if there is even a spirit world, trust me there is! Read The Day The Table Moved 90 Degrees!
It didn’t help that I was once told by a young (and aspiring?) street evangelist, when I was a child, that I was destined for hell because I wasn’t a Christian. Proud and stubborn me did not take to that kindly. “So be it then!” was my first thought.
Life was generally good. I had no need for God. Besides my dad had always taught us to be self-sufficient. Not to depend on others, much less God.
A Marriage Proposal
It was only after a marriage proposal from my then-boyfriend, now husband, Henson, that I found God.
[I used to think that God found me and revealed Himself to me. But I have realised that God was always with me, but I was too blind and proud and stubborn to see Him.]
A Church Wedding
Henson said he wanted a church wedding because he was Christian, which came as a surprise to me since he had never gone to church or invited me to one in all our dating years.
But sure.
Having a church wedding meant walking down an aisle which appealed to me after being influenced by all the western movies I had watched as a little girl.
Are You A Church Member?
But the problem was that we needed to be members of a church before any church would let us marry in it. That was easy! Or so he thought. He would just get married at his old church (he was born and raised a Methodist) which he had not stepped inside for more than 11 years!
However, when he asked them about it, he discovered that he was actually not a “member” of the church but only a “friend”, despite having served in various ministries when he was active in it. All because he was not confirmed after being baptised as a baby.
Yeah.
Plus, even if they made an exception, the church building was undergoing a major renovation and would not be available on our chosen wedding date. Only the temporary premise of a school hall would be available.
Church Shopping
So, we went church shopping.*
Sometime earlier, a friend had gotten married at Wesley Methodist Church and I was her bridesmaid. We decided to check it out. It had a lovely stained glass backdrop in the sanctuary and since it was also a Methodist church, we decided that it should be our wedding venue.*
Now, if he had been a member of his old church, he could have just transferred his membership to Wesley. But because he was only a friend of the church, we now needed to:
- attend Wesley’s membership course, and
- attend their pre-marital counselling course before they would allow us to get married there.
Mind you, this was back in the day when the membership course was 12-weeks long, and the pre-marital counselling course only slightly shorter (6 weeks, I think?).
I had planned to just sit through the membership class* and have Henson sign on as a member since they only require one party to be a member.
My Plans vs God’s Plans
But God had other plans for me.
At the very first class, it was announced that there will be a water baptism at the end of the membership class.
What?!
I thought all I had to do was attend the membership class. No one told me about baptism. I was not pleased. Then we found out that it was not compulsory, I was relieved.
But God
At perhaps the third or fourth session, God made His move. During a session conducted by Dr Aw Swee Eng, he shared the creation story and the trajectory of my life changed forever.
I don’t know what happened except to say, God touched me. And I am forever indebted to Dr Aw although he doesn’t know me from Adam. When I meet him in heaven, I will make sure to look for him.
No, there was no lightning and thunder à la Paul’s road to Damascus experience. But a very firm conviction that THIS IS THE TRUTH.
And when TRUTH stares you in the face, you accept it. To deny it is foolish.
I did not tell Henson though until much later. He was shocked, to say the least. Knowing how stubborn I was (and am) he knew it has to be a move of God.
Water Baptised
So I was water baptised in November 1994 in Wesley Methodist Church and was confirmed as a member of the church with Henson, a few weeks after. We stayed on and served as members until 2003 when God called us out and we left to join FGA Singapore.
That membership class opened both Henson and my eyes in so many ways. I discovered God while Henson re-discovered God.
Fast-Tracked
I have been following Jesus since then and life has never been the same. In the early days, I often felt I was being fast-tracked in my faith growth. It was like a crash course in faith-building. God was building layer upon layer of my faith at a superfast pace.
Only on hindsight, we can see why. He had to. He was going to be changing our lives very soon and it would require faith to walk the path He was leading us to.
Faith for the Season
That faith carried me during the season when I was at home raising the children and couldn’t listen to sermons or attend cell groups or bible studies. We would always make it a point to attend church but I was more often walking the baby or training the children to sit still than listening to the Word.
But He is truly gracious with those of us who are with young.
If you are in a season where you cannot get to sit and listen or even pray without being interrupted, hang in there. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Don’t be resentful of your baby. God sees what you are doing and He sees your heart.
So Very Grateful
I am so grateful that God did not give up on me. He was patient when I stubborn and proud and continued to call me to Him. He was gentle when I was exhausted. Thank You, Abba Father!
And this concludes the series on My 4 Nevers. I will end as I had started in that introductory post:
This life I live today as a Christ-following, married, homeschooling, stay-at-home-mother of many was not one I envisioned when I was growing up. No way. Not in a million years.
BUT GOD…
Meanwhile, remember:
* We were worldly, foolish and arrogant. It is only by the grace of God, that He redeemed us from the darkness and ignorance of our minds. To be flippant about church membership and to decide on a church because of its architecture and design…foolishness!
While Romans 8:28, NKJV, tells us that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”, being unequally yoked does lead to much heartache and brokenness. which is why Paul warned against it in 2 Corinthians 6:14.
There are so many things that could have gone bad in so many ways. We do not ever take it for granted that we are where we are today on our own strength and wisdom or because of luck. It is ALL GOD. We were each living for ourselves and it is only thanks be to God that He did not let us die in our sins but redeemed us.
Related Posts
I Am Not Being Super Spiritual
Spiritual Warfare is Real: The Day The Table Moved 90 Degrees
Teaching Children to Sit Through A Service
Struggling to Spend Quiet Time with the Lord
Be Encouraged Because He is a God Who Sees
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