So on 3rd October 2016, we entered into a new season of our parenting journey – releasing our oldest son into National Service (NS). By law, all male Singaporeans and Permanent Residents must enlist the year they turn 18.
No exceptions.
You may only delay enlistment if you have been offered a place in any of our local Polytechnics. Or… if you are Joseph Schooling and have a mother who fought tooth and nail to get approval for your deferment (see article).
If you have been offered a place in a local or overseas university, you will have to serve out your NS first, then start your course. Occasionally, you may be allowed to serve part of your enlistment, attend university, and then come back after your course finishes to complete the rest of the enlistment requirements. All these exceptions are approved on a strict case-by-case basis.
And so, we sent off our oldest to join all the other boys that fateful afternoon.
Attempting to document our journey
I am writing this down in order to try to document our journey for posterity sake and if it should help any other homeschooling parent out there.
BUT a disclaimer…
I had really wanted to document the whats and when so as to have a record of the time frame of events. But, I am often in a reactive mode when things happen which means that I am unable to remember details clearly. So please do NOT use this account in any way as THE example of what can happen for you or your family. It is a record of what we experienced with our one son.
When it all started
I vaguely remember receiving notifications from MINDEF* that he was due to be enlisted before he was 18. (If you go to a public school, you will only be enlisted after you have completed your A levels exams). Since we are homeschoolers, this timing is all rather vague. Just know that you will receive a notification from MINDEF that your son will be due for enlistment sometime before he turns 18. But no concrete dates will be given yet.
Call up for medical checkup
The most important piece of notification before the enlistment letter in my opinion, is the notice for him to go for his medical checkup. Once you get that notification, enlistment is coming real soon! And around the same time, your son will be asked to fill up his details online including information about his shoe and clothing sizes, etc.
So off he went sometime last year (ie 17 years old) for his medical checkup. Due to the affliction (yes, it IS an affliction!) of severe myopia (1200+ for each eye!) he was asked to go for a second medical checkup, specifically for his eyes. Soon after that, we were informed that he was categorised as under PES B2. Now here comes the bummer – no one in my homeschool circle knew what that meant. Henson asked around and no one in his circle knew either! Fun times – NOT!
PES B2
But because he was categorised under PES B2, he did not qualify to shorten his enlistment period from 24 months to 22, even if he did well in his NAPFA** test! In other words, we were told that even if he passed the test with flying colours (and he would have!) he would still have to serve 24 months, not 22 months. Oh the injustice! He was most unhappy and felt it was so unfair to be penalised because of myopia when he is so fit! Just for the record he had been running 10 km regularly, in like forever, so yeah, he is a fit young man.
It was only during the briefing IN Pulau Tekong that we were informed what being in PES B2 meant – boys under this category are excused from the Standard Obstacle Course and Route Marches above 10km. And they would be assigned as clerks/drivers/medics/signalers after Basic Military Training.
Waiting
And then came another round of waiting. When will the letter for enlistment come?
To me, it is like the day of reckoning – you know it is coming but you don’t know when it is! Lol!
So we waited and waited and waited. I asked a few homeschool moms. All mentioned that the letter will come within 6 months of the boy turning 18. He turned 18 in April
On his own accord, he wrote to MINDEF in January to ask if they had a time line. They told him enlistment would be some time in June.
short holiday #1
Since we thought enlistment would be June, we booked a short holiday for the family in early May as it seemed that it would be the last time we could vacation as a family for a while. But in late May, the letter came – enlistment was to be on 3rd October at Pulau Tekong.
short holiday #2
As the days to enlistment grew nearer, I suggested having one really last holiday with him. I know his siblings would definitely miss him. And so, off to Club Med Cherating, Malaysia, we went this time. We all had a blast though Henson came down with a bad flu the day we landed in Malaysia!
more sibling bonding
To make full use of his free time in the last 2 weeks before NS enlistment, he asked to go rock climbing at Climb Central, and spent almost all his free time playing as much as possible with his younger siblings.
Dilly dally
In the month before enlistment, I forwarded blog links and lists for his packing and preparation as and when I got them from friends. Many mom friends were so helpful! I tell you the mothers network is THE best! And here is a shoutout to my friend, Sam whom I got to know when she used to run an online breastfeeding store, Moms in Mind. She is my one stop information counter!
But guess what? NOTHING was done. Grrr!!!!!!!
So 2 weeks before enlistment, I was still reminding both father and son to get things ready. But I guess no one functions well unless adrenaline is pumping at full speed???
Last minute shopping
Finally, on the Monday before enlistment, father and son went down to the famous Beach Road shop to get the things that everyone else says to bring. Apparently the official list of things to bring, given by the Army, is woefully inadequate. There are lots of other stuff that they would need to make that 3 week confinement period more palatable. One of which is the famous Xiaomi power bank for charging one’s hand phone because recruits are not allowed to plug in their charger (so no need to bring) into the wall sockets.
I shall have to write and update on this to see if it is true for us. Different people will report different outcomes.
The rest of the things that were still missing after that shopping trip with daddy were bought the Friday before enlistment with me.
D-Day Arrives!
Monday, 3rd October 2016 came. Henson, Aaron (younger brother) and I set off to send him off to Tekong and to tour the facilities. It took the whole afternoon and we were so physically wiped out from the sitting around and waiting. Thankfully it was a day of mild weather. I can’t imagine how we would have felt if it were the usual hot and windless humid day!
We took the ferry across and then were given a brief tour of the place, shown what his room looked like, as well as a sample of the equipment and ration packs he would be given. Then we were ushered into the auditorium for a formal briefing by the Commanding Officer
Then the boys had to take an oath and sing the National Anthem. Thereafter, we were ushered out to have a meal tasting session with David. After eating our meal with him, the boys were told to assemble on the parade square, wave to us, and be dismissed. We were quickly led out back out to board the ferry and return to the main island. And that was that. Rather anti-climactic, if you asked me! Lol!
The 1st phone call
He called at around 9:30pm that night. His siblings were so excited that they gathered around the phone to hear and speak to him. He told us that he was waiting for instructions and had not even seen his bunk or be assigned his buddy. He had however had his head shaven already. He said he would text as and when he could but not to expect him to call.
The 2nd phone call
Unexpectedly, he called 2 days later to ask how much he should insure himself for. I had to quickly make a decision as we had totally forgot about that. Since then, I have not spoken to him.
Week 2
So far he has texted me a few times, mostly in the lines of, “Hi mama, don’t worry I am still alive.” And, “Where are we going for dinner when I book out?” Yeah we are THAT kind of family. Morbid humour and all. 🙂
Tears
For the record, no I didn’t cry. No one cried except his 9 year old sister. But mostly because she thought he was going away for 2 whole years! Lol! When she realised it was only for 3 weeks (2 weekends) she was visibly relieved but being the most sensitive one, teared a bit when she spoke to him on the phone that first night.
My thoughts
Although it is not the first time he has spent time away from us, it is the first time he is away for such a long time. I did/do worry a little because he has not had much exposure to training like NS. But I also trust that the Lord is watching over him and that he would have enough sense to keep himself out of trouble.
Some mothers have expressed concern over the negative influence their sons may be exposed to when in the Army. My own husband backslided from his faith while serving NS. So yeah…it CAN be a minefield of evil influence. And we all know what boys can get up to when they are with each other with no mother hovering over them!
BUT…
Let us get practical – what are we going to do about it? What can we do about it? Nothing. And our sons are too far away for us to nag at, and spy on. 😛
To me, this is the point where I pray that whatever we have drilled into our son have been absorbed, retained and engraved in his heart and mind. Especially what we have taught him about God and His word. And then we just have to let go.
Yes, he will be exposed to many types of people, values and worldviews. And that, to me, is a good thing. Why? He needs to find his own footing in the world and come out of the shadow of his parents. He needs to struggle and find his own faith, as Jacob wrestled with God, and not just borrow ours. Until he does that, his faith is not his own and it cannot stand him in good stead. God has to be his God, not mine, not Henson’s. And I pray that NS is one of the ways he gets to encounter the one true living God.
May the Lord God watch over you my son!
*MINDEF – Ministry of Defence **NAPFA – National Physical Fitness Award