Of Naps and Food

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Many times, we rush our children to “grow up” before they are ready to and create unnecessary work (and stress!) for ourselves And yet, at other times, we hold back our children so that they are unable to progress. Aren’t parents funny creatures?

Grow Up!- Food

Many 1st time mums are eager to start their babies on solids when they are not ready. It is an oft heard complaint – “Help! My baby refuses to eat his cereal/porridge! What should I do?”

My solution is simple – leave it! Really! If the baby is exclusively breastfed, he really needs no solids till he is at least 6mths old. Except my 1st born, all the other children have refused to eat any solids till they were 8 to 10mths old. I think they are pretty smart but then I am biased!

Seriously though, babies are all very smart if we would only let them listen to their bodies and not rush them till they are ready. They will eat when they are ready. Just coz some book/expert somewhere says we need to start solids at 6mths does not mean your baby needs to! Then there are doctors who insist that solids need to be started because baby is not growing as per what the growth chart says!

If a baby is exclusively on breastmilk and peeing 6 – 8 diapers a day of clear or light yellow urine and is generally happy and developing well, I would say – ignore the growth chart!

Remember, breastmilk is a perfect, well-balanced meal in itself. Which baby cereal can compare to that?

I have also read that a baby who instinctively refuses solids is actually protecting his body from introducing possible allergens into his body! Now isn’t that smart?

But then you have these new mums stressing themselves out, pouring over recipes and trying to find a perfect cereal or porridge meal to feed the baby. She cooks/purees/freezes…..only to discover that baby spits out everything he is fed! No wonder she is frustrated! Lol!

Relax!!!

In the 1st year, baby’s main meal should be breastmilk only. Food introduced in the 1st year should be introduced just to let baby taste it. Of course if you have a baby that loves food, then great! But this is for mums who are angsting over their baby’s lack of interest in solids.

Grow Up!- Naps

My children, except my 1st born, all dropped their morning naps by the time they were 15, 16mths max! I had one who dropped her nap at 12mths! I always marveled and envied friends whose children seemed to require lots of sleep! Lol! These mums often wonder why their children sleep so much?! And they try to “help” their child sleep less!

Why oh why????

Children – most anyway – need lots of sleep! A lot of behavioural problems happen when children are sleep deprived. Temper tantrums, sudden meltdowns, spacing out, hyperactivity to name a few that I have personally observed in not just my own children but children in general. I am sure you can google “sleep deprivation” for its side effects.

Again, this creates unnecessary stress and work for the parent. You have to either deal with the annoying behaviour or think up activities to keep them awake.

Grow Up!- Potty Training

Honestly, potty training ranks #1 on my least of most unfavourite things to do as a mum! All because of my 1st experience with it. I often view it with some dread and lots of stress.

With my 1st born (always the guinea pig ) I was under the impression that he was ready to trained just coz he was almost 2. Was I wrong or was I wrong??? There was mess after mess to clean up and this lasted almost one whole year! In between that was a battle of wills. Yucks! I promised myself that I will never do it that way again!

Then, he showed me how pleasant it would be when he announced to me that he did not want to wear his night diapers. I was actually horrified and tried change his mind! Lol! He told me that he would wake me up should he need to go in the middle of the night. It was with much reluctance that I agreed. But guess what? He only had one or two (my memory fails me!) in that one week. He was totally dry after that week!

Ahhh!!!!!

That was it. No need to stress about it anymore. For the other children, I just waited for them to be ready. No, they didn’t show any of the “readiness” signs that the books/experts said they are to exhibit to show that they are ready. I just waited till they turned at least 2.5yrs or better still, 3yrs old. (If your child shows signs of readiness and you want to potty train him, please go ahead!)

I would tell them where to go when they need to go and that was it. #2, #3 and #4 all went to the potty by themselves after that one day when I told them what to do. Big business,  small business.

There were expectedly, one or two accidents in the 1st week and none at all after that! And surprisingly, they also went dry overnight that same week! It was totally amazing to me who had so much stress the 1st time round. Lesson learnt!

PS : I know all about EC (Elimination Communication) and think it is a great idea. But it just will not work for us.

Then on the flip side, there are parents who hold back their child from achieving the next developmental milestone.

Don’t Grow Up!- Lifeskills

So you have parents who push for starting solids, dropping naps and potty training early. And yet you have parents who do not let their child feed, walk, dress, themselves!

They say their child doesn’t know how to. But most times it is because they didn’t let the child do it when they child showed signs of readiness and then missed that window of opportunity.

The child may wish to feed himself but mum doesn’t allow it coz it makes a huge mess. So mum dissuades child from doing so and in that process, misses the opportunity to teach him how to do it properly.

Same with dressing themselves. And walking by themselves.

You see, every time a child wants to do something himself, it slows us down. So we take over and soon, he loses interest in being independent. These lifeskills are important for them to learn as soon as possible because it gives them a sense of achievement and it allows a mum with a baby to focus on the baby!

Many times people wonder how we manage to bring all 5 children out, especially to a food court or hawker centre. Then you see people gawking at the children, marveling that all are able to feed themselves. Allow your child to learn these very basic lifeskills and going out will be so much more pleasant.

Don’t Grow Up!- Bottle Feeding

The other pet peeve I have is when I see older children (above 2yrs old) drinking milk from a milk bottle! Or worse, drinking water/juice from a milk bottle!!! (I must say here that my parents allowed me to drink from a milk bottle till I was past 5 or 6 or 8! They can’t remember. Their comment was that I only did it when I was home.)

Despite my bottle feeding background, I still think that it is highly inappropriate for an older child to be doing that – at home or out. The child should be taught to drink from a cup with a spout/straw or direct from the cup.

These are only a few examples of how we can either hold back or push our children when we do things because of what the “experts” say or for our own convenience.

I hope the topics I raised have helped to challenge certain common mindsets and offer an alternative view.

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