5 Potty Training Lessons Learnt After Training 7 Children

Sharing is caring, please pass this along!

The potty training question has come up again and again in conversations with new moms so I guess it is time to share how we did it in our home. And I will also share 5 important potty training lessons I learnt after doing it 7 times.

(Post updated 2018)

Please note: this is how we did it. I am not saying it is THE correct or best way but merely the way it has worked best for us.

A Little Background

I read my books, did my research and decided that we should potty train our oldest at 18 months. Before his baby sister was due to arrive. After all, he was a very bright child, able to comprehend instructions and converse with us clearly. All signs pointed to a quick and successful training session.

(a) Daytime Potty Training

It was a BIG mistake. Yes, he understood what he had to do but he wasn’t matured enough to interrupt his play to relieve himself. It took almost a year of wiping and cleaning up messes before he was accident-free. And this was when I had a baby to handle as well. It was not a pleasant experience at all.

(b) Nighttime Potty Training

Then came nighttime potty training. He came and told me he didn’t want to wear diapers to bed anymore. What?! I was not an excited mom. In fact, I was horrified. Remember, I had finally gotten him dry in the day. I was not about to wake up multiple times in the night to change bedsheets when I already had a nursing baby waking me up. So I told him, “No, no, no. You HAVE to put on your diapers to bed!”

But he was insistent. He said he would wake me up if he needed to relieve himself. I still wasn’t enthusiastic about the whole thing. Images of myself stripping off urine soaked bedsheets 2 to 3 times a night kept going round my mind. Yucks! But to my utter surprise, he had all of 2 accidents in the 1st week of going diaper-less. And then we were home free. Wow! What a difference from his daytime potty training.

And so that was one of the most important potty training lessons I learnt: never rush potty training unless you have the time and energy to keep cleaning up after them.

So this is what I’ve done after that fiasco. Just for the record, I have trained 2 boys and 3 girls.

[UPDATED: All 7 children 5 girls and 2 boys have been successfully toilet trained for a long while by now. Whew!]

Potty Training Lesson #1: Wait It Out

As mentioned above, the potty training fiasco with Child #1 taught me to just wait it out.

Sure you can toilet train an 18-month-old or even a newborn. With Elimination Communication (or the old-fashioned Grandma way) many have done so. But it doesn’t sit well with me – watching the baby all the time for her signals. Maybe if I had started when I had just ONE child I would feel differently. But I much preferred to wait until the child is at least 2.5 if not 3 years old. The actual age depends on the maturity of the child.

Potty Training Lesson #2: Be Patient

Next, introduce them to the concept of peeing and pooping. You see, when they wear diapers they were trained to ignore their peeing sensations. So now you have to re-introduce them to it.

How?

Shower times are the best times for this. They tend to relieve themselves when you are showering them. As it happens, calmly tell them, “That’s your pee pee” (or whatever you call it 🙂 .) Tell them that when they need to pee, they will have to do it in the toilet and not on the floor. End the lesson. Repeat this every time you shower. You could even bring a small potty into the shower stall with you and get them to sit and try to do it there. Otherwise, just sit them on the actual toilet bowl.

Potty Training Lesson #3: Hype It Up!

You have to hype up potty training as THE thing all big children do! 🙂 Meanwhile, buy lots (and I mean lots!) of briefs or panties. And stand by a lot of cloths for wiping up.

Do note that some boys dislike the airiness (freedom?) of loose briefs after the snugness of diapers so you’ll have to make sure his briefs are fitting.

Then just take a deep breath and start.

Potty Training Lesson #4: There Will Be Accidents

Mentally, psyche yourself up to the fact that there will be lots of accidents in the first 3 days, if not 7. If done correctly, the child should get it by the third day. I’ve had one trained on Day 1!

Be extra vigilant especially when they are engrossed in play.

Potty Training Lesson #5: Back Off When You Have To

Here is also where I will back off and not persist if the child is not getting it or showing disinterest. If the child is ignoring the signs her body is telling her, I stop. I’ll wait a while more before re-starting.

But I’ll tell the child (hence the need to wait till the child is older and understands) why she can’t progress to wearing panties.  For some, this is the needed incentive to toilet train. But for most of mine, this is not an incentive at all.

So I just leave it and return to it in a month’s time or so. Usually, the second round is easier. The kid knows what’s expected and is ready to be trained.

Nighttime Training

Again, I wait. Some of our children have been amazing in that the moment they were trained in the day, they were also trained in the night. It just connected for them. But there some who needed more incentives. Again, their motivation is to get rid of their diapers. Perhaps they really dislike wearing wet soggy diapers?

I had to use a chart for one of them. I told her that she could get out of diapers if she could be dry seven days in a row. And it was with much glee that she presented me with a dry diaper every morning so that we could mark a cross on her chart. 😀

Some just sleep through the whole night and only wake up to pee in the morning. Some have had to wake up and pee in the middle of the night. Since we live in an HDB estate, there is never total darkness and so we’ve not had a need to leave any nightlights on for them to find their way to the toilet. There is an occasional miss by the boys – not because there isn’t any night light but because they are so groggy they don’t aim! 🙁

We’ve also had a few accidents due to sleepwalking. They walk to where they think the toilet is and peed. Really unpleasant but all part and parcel of parenting.

Some Other FAQs

1. How Do I Decide When to Start?

As I’d mentioned, I usually wait till they are 2.5 years old or older. You can check out BabyCenter’s potty training readiness signs here. I will also look for a time convenient to me (no newborn babies, not going for a vacation, not the Christmas/Chinese New Year period). Then I would just start. And pray! Don’t underestimate the power of prayer even in such trivial issue such as potty training.

2. Do You Use Rewards?

No. So far, we’ve not had to. We just do lots of praising and clapping of hands. It doesn’t hurt that the older siblings are happy for them too.

3. What About Using Pull-Ups?

I personally feel that pull-ups work exactly like diapers. In other words, the kid feels that he has on a diaper and would not bother to tell me when he has peed in it. So I only use pull-ups out of convenience for toddlers when we’re out and not as a tool for potty training.

4. What About Passing Motion?

It helps if your child goes at regular times. Ours, unfortunately, do not. 🙁 So it is rather stressful when I start the potty training process. Lots of yucky messes. Worse when there’s a crawling baby in the house. But we survived it all.

The thing is they would tell us after the deed is done not before. So again, lots of reminders that they need to tell us before. And standby Dettol for major sterilising after the deed is done. And again, some children get it faster than others.

5. Do I Use a Potty?

Yes, I did. But only in the beginning. A child-sized potty enabled them to go on their own without needing me to carry them up onto the toilet bowl. Especially helpful when I was heavily pregnant.

I bought the most basic one – no bells and whistles. But after the first few children, I did not. This way, I eliminate one more step towards successful toilet training.

They do not need to transition from the potty to the standard toilet seat. Also, it teaches them to be able to use any toilet when we are out. I also do not use a potty training seat.

I just place them directly on the adult toilet seat and hold them until they are done. Once they are more confident, I put a step stool in the toilet for them to help themselves.

For the boys, I taught them to “do it like a man”, using the step stool. Again, it saved me the effort of transitioning them from sitting in a potty to standing and learning to aim 🙂

6. What About Wiping Up?

In the beginning, I wipe up for them. Then I teach them how to do it once they are able to balance on the toilet bowl steadily.

For poop, I still wipe up after them until they turn 4 or so. I just prefer to be sure that they’re clean, if you know what I mean 🙂

7. What About Naps?

I put diapers on them for naps, especially those who took naps that last longer than 1.5 hours. Then, if they were consistently dry, they would go diaper-less. Of course, I make them go potty before napping.

8. Do I Limit Drinks in the Evenings?

Yes, I do. One hour before bedtime, they are only allowed just sips of water. That is one reason why I do not encourage drinking milk as part of the bedtime routine. But this is only in the training period. After that, they are allowed to drink normally.

9. What About Waterproof Sheets?

Yes, obviously put a waterproof sheet over the mattress to protect it. One trick that is helpful for those middle of the night accidents is to line your mattress in layers:

bedsheet >>> waterproof sheet >>> bedsheet

This way, when an accident happens in the middle of the night, all you have to do is strip the top bedsheet and waterproof sheet off and you already have a clean bedsheet in place.

If you are concerned that another accident may occur after that, then line your mattress this way:

bedsheet >>> waterproof sheet >>> bedsheet >>> waterproof sheet >>> bedsheet.

And during this time, limit the number of items on the bed. Perhaps only one stuffed toy instead of five.

10. What About Going Out?

This one is really tricky. But in that one week that you are potty training the child, you would have known how long he can wait before he really needs to go. It would be good to remind him that he should not wait until the last minute to tell you that he needs to go. Again – that’s why I wait till they are 2.5yrs old or older.

Obviously, we make the child pee before we leave the house. We may or may not make him pee again upon reaching our destination. But meanwhile, keep a lookout for where the public toilets are located. And definitely make him pee before you leave. And do bring a change of clothes and a small towel in case you need to do a wipe down when an accident occurs.

11. What About Using Public Toilets?

I think for boys, this is generally a non-issue. But for girls, it can be really gross to bring our daughters to pee in public toilets.

I carry a pack of sanitising wipes in my bag for the really gross toilets. Otherwise, I would just use the toilet paper to wipe the toilet seat and then carry them to sit on it. I would also remind them not to touch anything. Then, of course, make them wash their hands with soap after that.

And that is how I have done it with 5 out of our 7 children. #6 is due to be trained soon. :::shudders::: Because, no matter how many times I have done this, I still dread it and wish I could pay someone to do this for me.

I hope some of these tips will help you as you potty train your child/ren.

Related Posts

Toilet Training for the 7th Time!
Sleep Training
Teaching Children to Sit Through a Service

Sharing is caring, please pass this along!