Slightly over a year ago in June 2011, a spot of rash appeared on my left index finger, even as my then 11-year-old dd struggled with full-blown eczema all over her body. The speaker at our Church service called for those who needed healing and I pushed her forward. The spot on my finger itched a little but I did not go up. Why? In my mind, all I had to do was to avoid the usual food allergens and it will go away. In other words, I knew what to do to heal myself. Ha!
Almost immediately we left for our annual Church Camp retreat in Malaysia. During the Camp, God spoke to me through the speaker. HE said, “Slow down”. I said, “Ok!” and promptly continued my merry way of staying up late to complete my work once we returned from the retreat.
By September 2011, the little rash on my finger had spread all over the back of my left hand. 2 spots appeared on my left ankle as well. Almost a year later from when the small rash appeared, I was the one having full blown eczema all over my four limbs.
I had to repent of pride.
This was my thought process:
- I have read enough.
- I knew what to do to heal myself.
- I had the knowledge.
- I had the experience.
- I knew what to do.
And what’s that about slowing down? God, don’t you know everything depended on me??? I can’t slow down!
I was WRONG.
I didn’t know anything and I should have obeyed my Father who always knows best. I had to repent of pride. Of thinking that I knew everything and of thinking that I was running the show. To confirm this, a sister in Christ who did not know me at all but only knew about my condition told me that as she was praying for me, the word, “proud” came to mind.
I had to repent of pride. And of judging others. Eczema is, sadly, a very common ailment in today’s world. I used to think that if only they (be it the person himself or the parent) would take the effort to go on an Elimination Diet or a GAPS Diet, they would do so much better. God showed me that even on a special diet, I was still not getting better. HE wanted to me come to a realisation that “man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4.
I had to repent for not taking care of my physical body as well. Years of not taking care of myself because I was “busy” came back to haunt me. I had to repent of telling my dad airily that “Sleep is for wimps!”. When one is young, one thinks he/she is invincible. One is not. Our physical bodies need loving care and rest. Propping up our adrenal glands with coffee and other adrenaline pushing substances can only lead to our adrenal glands crashing, causing a whole host of other health problems in time to come. By the time one realises how damaged the adrenal glands are, it can be too late.
But God is a healer. God is my healer. (Exodus 15:26). And God is merciful and compassionate. I turned back to Him and He has healed me. I am not totally well – yet. I know He is not done with me – physically and spiritually.
I share this with you to encourage you to look after your physical AND spiritual body. Do not neglect either. And be very careful to guard yourself against pride. It sneaks up on you. Even now I battle against it daily. It is so easy to take control back from God and tell Him that I don’t need Him. I know what to do. Ha! I so do not!
2 Comments on Repenting of Pride
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I came by from the Homeschooling yahoo Group. This is something I needed to read, and your testimony is something I need to hear at this point in my life. I had been neglecting my own health ( staying up late, not eating well etc etc) thinking that I am ‘still young’ and this is what ‘good’ moms do. But oh boy! I have been plagued by this horrid skin infection/ sensitivity on my thumb. Shingles at the beginning of the year. Now teeth issues.
Oh yes do I need to slow down and bow before Daddy God and repent.
Thank you so much for your humility and willingness to share this.
Sarah – thank you for dropping by and thank you for sharing.