“Thank You”

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“Thank You!”

Two words that can make or break one’s day. But so rarely heard or expressed these days.

In all the times I have held the lift doors opened for people at my block of flats, maybe 2 have said thank you to me? Old or young. Male or female. It didn’t matter. What’s worse than not saying “thank you”? They don’t even hold eye contact and acknowledge that I held the lift doors opened for them.

Why is this so? Is this simple act of courtesy no longer taught at home or at school?

Silence

I’ve grumbled and vented before – privately and on the blog – about this. People will email me, PM me from my social media channels or even whatsapp me their queries. And after I spend time answering them, sometimes even researching something for them to make sure I am conveying accurate information, SILENCE.

No, “thank you for your help” or even just “thanks!”

Really?!

Is typing “thank you” too hard? Too complicated? Too time consuming?

Why No “thank yous”?

Why? Or “Why liddat?” as we say in Singlish here in Singapore. Why do they not say “thank you”?

Are they really too busy? Too distracted? Too self-absorbed? Or just clueless that that is what is expected in polite, educated and civilized societies?

Were they not taught? Or were they taught but did not have the lesson enforced?

Say “Thank You”

Mystie of Simply Convivial seems to have hit the nail on the head. She posted the picture below on her Instagram account last month.

As I read through her post, I found myself nodding my head more and more vigorously. Which led me to messaging her if I could have her permission to share her post with you.  And then I thanked her 🙂

Her post, Say Thank You further elaborates on this. In a nutshell, she says we need to intentionally notice when someone does us a favour. And then cultivate the habit of saying “thank you” to that person. ie stop being clueless, stop being self-absorbed, stop being distracted, stop being busy.

It Takes Effort

Make an effort to notice and then to thank.

And in households where you have paid live-in help or even grandparents, this needs to be even more deliberately cultivated.

I am forever grateful that Henson taught our children to thank me after each meal. Whether they enjoyed what was served or not. Now that some of the older children have taken over cooking certain meals, they also have learnt to thank them.

And if and when we are treated to a meal, they would automatically go to the host and hostess to thank them for the meal. It is a blessing – to the host and hostess and to us, as parents.

Now don’t get me wrong, they aren’t paragons of virtue. I am just grateful that they have developed the habit of thanking whoever feeds them. Some of them have also taken to thanking me for decluttering and cleaning the house. It is nice to be thanked.

Teach Our Children

Which leads me to this: we have to teach our children to notice acts of service and thank the people who render them. Yes, even if they are paid to render that service.

Even a baby can say “thank you” – IF he has been taught to. From the time our children were babies, we taught them to say thank you by signing it.

Whenever they did something – stopped fussing, sat quietly, handed us their toy, crawled to us when we told them “come”, we said “thank you” and signed it to them. Once they are in control of their limbs, they are able to sign back.

By the way, “please” is even easier to sign. Teach that too.

And if you need help on how to teach basic sign language, there are tons of information available for free on the internet for babies and non-verbal toddlers. You can start out with Baby Sign Language which I found while googling for “thank you” in sign language.

* I am not an affiliate for them. I am just passing this information along.

Model It For Your Children

But, not only should we be teaching them to say “please” and “thank you” we also need to be modelling it for them too. Remember, more is caught than taught.

Start at home. We can thank them when they do their chores and homework. Sure, they are supposed to do it. But you are supposed to clothe and feed and care for them too, right? Still, it is nice to be thanked, isn’t it?

I remember I had a child ask me why I thanked him after he vacuumed the floors. It made me smile. “It’s my job!” he said. IMO, the more the thankless a job, the more we should say our thanks.

Say “Thank You”

What does it cost us to say “thank you”? Nothing. Unless you have a bad sorethroat or some mouth injury.

Let us seek to notice acts of service and bless those who render them to us by saying “thank you!” And if you have asked someone for help or advice, please remember to go back and thank the person for taking time to reply. Even if the reply was unhelpful.

Because we should give thanks in all circumstances. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

And I’d like to take this opportunity, dear reader, to thank you for visiting my blog and reading what I write.

Related Posts

Feeling Unappreciated
Say Thank You
Just Because You Said “Please”

* If you like the thank you” cards shown in this post, or need any need other styles of customisable cards or even posters done, you can PM Esther, my daughter. Her handle on Instagram is @esthersletters.

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