Teach Your Children to Play on their Own

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Post Summary

Getting a child to have alone playtime is a lifesaver in my life as a mother. Here I share how I did it when my children were babies and when they were toddlers.

Teaching a child, even a baby, to play by himself or to have alone playtime, is a great help. Just like teaching a child to sleep on his own. And if you are a stay-at-home-mother with no help, this skill is a lifesaver! This skill is super important because there will be many times during the day where you will need to do stuff with two hands! And you would not want to worry about tripping over small people. Plus, it is nice to know that baby is playing happily and safely in a designated area while you do what you need to do unhindered.

Sure, a baby carrier is helpful but being able to put a child down and work with both hands is much more productive and less tiring. So how can one teach this skill to a child?

Separation Anxiety

In the beginning, babies and toddlers get separation anxiety when mom has to step aside for a while. Have you had this experience? Baby is playing happily by himself but the moment he senses that you are about to move somewhere, even if it is just a foot away, he will immediately abandon his play and start bawling for you? It is normal and natural. Annoying at times but totally expected for children this age.

But if you consistently teach a child how to play independently by himself, he will get used to it. He will learn to entertain himself happily without dissolving into a mess each time you move away. But please do not abuse this tip. A baby should not be left alone for hours on end, ok?

Babies and Alone Playtime

When I had less children and more space, I would put the baby in his cot, turn on the hanging musical mobile and tell him it is playtime. I would start with 5 minutes and then slowly increase it to 15 minutes each time. This was done twice a day. It allowed me to do meal preparation and even take a short power nap when needed.

Baby will fuss for a while in the beginning, which is why I say to start with just 5 minutes. To expect a baby to be able to entertain himself for 15 minutes at the get go is not reasonable.

When he could flip/creep/sit on his own, I would put some toys and board books into his cot. By then he, could play independently for about 30 minutes, twice a day. Playing some praise and worship music in the background helps too. I did not use any electronics for this time.

It would be best if the time he is required to play by himself is fixed so it becomes a predictable routine. For example, after a nursing session or after lunch. Just make sure he is fed, changed and not sleepy though I have had a few who fell asleep during this alone play time!

Toddler Alone Playtime

If you are starting with a toddler, the same principles apply except that you would set aside a room or corner for him to play by himself instead of his cot. If you have no dedicated room, cordon off an area for him with his toys/books. But this is tricky for a child who has yet to learn to obey and respect boundaries. You will have to “help” him at the start by standing by and making sure he stays where he is supposed to stay and not wander off. One more thing, help him to be successful by making sure he cannot see you during this time.

Explain to him that he needs to play by himself and that mommy will be in the kitchen or living room or wherever you will be, and will come and get him when his alone playtime is over. You could even set a timer for him so that he knows that he only has to play by himself until the timer goes off. This keeps mom accountable too!

Playing Independently is a Great Life Skill

The ability to entertain oneself is a great life skill we need to teach our children from young. This is regardless of whether you have live-in help or not. Besides, it is really helpful on days when mom is sick/tired/busy. I really looked forward to those two short snatches in the day when I could lie down and rest. Especially when I was heavily pregnant. But again, a reminder – please do not use this as an excuse to leave your child alone for hours on end, which I am sure you will not, right?

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