On 22nd and 23rd April 2017, I was given the privilege and honour of speaking at my home church FGA Singapore. The topic the Lord laid upon my heart to share was “obedience”. Obedience to God’s Word and His call on our lives.
But as I prepared for the message, the Lord impressed upon me to slot in a section that is very relevant and important for parents. As we ourselves obey the Lord, we need to teach our children obedience as well.
But … why do WE need to obey the Lord?
Obedience is not only for children, Obedience is also for us. We know that children need to obey their parents. After all, that is what Ephesians 6:1 exhorts.
But we, as children of God and as disciples of Jesus Christ, need to obey our Father, and our Master, as well. AND if we declare that we love the Lord then we need to obey Him because the Lord Himself said in John 14:23, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching”. Our actions speak louder than words.
A struggle to obey
But, even when we know why we ought to obey the Lord, we struggle to do so, right? One of the many reasons we baulk at being obedient (which according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “being submissive to the restraint or command of authority”) is the issue of our flesh. Our flesh doesn’t want to submit to authority, be it godly or earthly ones. That was the same reason Adam and Eve fell – the fleshy lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life. (1 John 2:16).
Adam and Eve saw that the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil looked really good and promised to make them wise … wiser than God, perhaps? In the battle between the flesh and the spirit, the flesh won, hands down.
Flesh vs Spirit
This battle between flesh and spirit is constant. Galatians 5:17 warns us, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
This constant battle is why, those of us who are parents or who look after children, need to teach the children under our care, obedience. We need to teach them from young so that obedience is less of a struggle.
They will still struggle. But if taught from young to control their fleshy desires and deny their fleshy wants, it helps A LOT.
What’s in it for ME?
If a child has never been taught to rein in his will, and will not obey when he is young except through major cajoling and bribery, how then will he obey when God calls him?
I have witnessed, first hand, a mother explaining and negotiating with her 4 year old boy why he needed to put on his shoes and leave my house. It took her almost 15 minutes before he agreed. Seriously? 15 minutes to get a 4 year old to put on shoes and to leave? Or maybe 15 minutes is fast to you?! I hope not.
What’s MY reward?
If your child only obeys when there are rewards and only rewards that appeal to him, how will he obey God who does not guarantee comfort and prosperity when He calls? All He promises is to be with us.
If they will not submit to your authority, how will they obey God’s authority. Think about that.
But…what about MY rights???
The popular move towards respecting a child’s rights has been pushed to the extreme. Yes, they do have rights. But they are also under authority. There is no need to explain over and over why he needs to obey daddy and mummy, especially when he is 2. There IS a place for explanations. We do that when the child shows maturity. But there is also a place for obedience without knowing all the whys.
Would you want your child to obey you when you tell her not to dash across the busy street, because from your much higher vantage point, you can see a speeding motorcycle zooming down the street? Or would you want your child to obey you after you have given a lengthy explanation and told her the rewards of obeying you? I trust you would prefer the former scenario than the latter. You would want your child to obey you and obey you immediately. You could argue that the above scenario is an extreme one. My friend, if your child would not obey in the simple things (put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket), I can guarantee you that she will not obey you in the big things (stick to the curfew).
Knowing why does NOT lead to happy obedience
Let’s face it – even when a child knows and understand the whys, he will still choose not to do it. Even adults don’t do the things we know we should do, right?
How many adults know that eating junk food leads to ill health? How many of us still eat it? And eat it regularly? There are many stories of people with diabetes which leads to kidney problems. But they still continued to eat carelessly.
Knowing what and why we ought to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.
Obedience IS hard
I don’t deny it. It is hard for us and it is hard for our children. Let us help them to obey the Lord by teaching them to obey us first. Let us help them win the battle between the flesh and the spirit.
Related posts
Here are some related posts on discipline and obedience that you may wish to browse through as you think about how you can help your children learn obedience.