The Burden of Being A Mother

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When a child misbehaves, there’s a Chinese comment that is literally translated as, “Mother didn’t teach”. I don’t know if there’s an equivalent in English or any other language. But with that one comment, the onus seems to be placed solely on the mother : to teach values and morals, amongst other things. So if the child misbehaves, no one ever points a finger at the father, only at the mother.

Isn’t this an awesome responsibility for us to shoulder? :::shudder::: Makes me want to run away!

Yesterday, I was reading an online Bible Study from Heart On The Matter called Walking Among Them. And the woman featured this week was Jochebed, mother of Moses. Yes the great man, Moses who was one of the few people who saw God and talked to God face-to-face.

As Lori says we often gloss over the fact that without Jochebed’s faith in God, there would have been no Moses. Someone else would have been raised up to be God’s man of the hour. Another mother would have been honoured. But Jochebed was the woman God chose. And because of her faith, her obedience, we have Moses, God’s specially chosen man.

And then came the thought provoking question Lori asked,

Jochebed raised faithful children. What does that say about HER faith?

• What do your children witness from you in regards to faith?
• Do you outwardly express your faith, your prayers, and your purpose to your children?
• Do you live as an example to your children?

Yikes!

As I pondered on these questions, I also remember that Sarah Edwards, beloved wife of Jonathan Edwards was credited for being the matriarch of the Edwards family, not because she was controlling or domineering but because of her faith in God.

In the book, Marriage to a Difficult Man: The Uncommon Union of Jonathan & Sarah Edwards By Elisabeth D. Dodds, there is a quote that says, “much of the capacity and talent, intensity, and character of the more than 1,400 of the Edwardss family is due to Mrs Edwards.” (p39-40).

Imagine that!

Am I that sort of a mother? A faith-filled mother whose children see God in my life and want to be like? Are you?

I know I am not. And I also know that with more children than most, I get more chances to screw up than most! 🙁

But I also know that I mustn’t give up. Most days I feel like giving up. These are some of the more common thoughts running through my head on those bad days –

• “It’s so difficult!”
• “It’s never ending and nothing I do seems to work anyway. So why bother?”
• “God must have chosen the wrong person to raise these children!”
• “I give up!”
• Why did I choose this life?”
• “Why did I all these children?”
• “No, scrap that. Why did I even have children?”
• “Faith? What faith? I just want to go and sleep!”

So why don’t I actually give up? Because…if I don’t bother? Who will???

Mothers are different from fathers. We fulfill a totally different aspect of parenting. Fathers have their own share of burden to carry. It may seem easier from our vantage point but until we walk in their shoes, we can’t compare.

Let us focus on ourselves before we go around begrudging everyone else of having a “better” life.

Yes, it is not an easy place to be at. But let us focus on pleasing God who has called us into this ministry and let us remember that this is one of the rare jobs in the world that carries eternal rewards!

Hang in there!

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My personal musings can be found at Building An Ark in Singapore.

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