The Roles and Duties of a Godly Wife and Mother

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Everyone knows the Proverbs 31: 10 – 31 woman and everyone would agree that she was a godly wife and mother. Not only did her husband praise her but her children too! (verses 28 – 29) But what exactly is it that she does or does not do that makes her a godly woman? I am not going in-depth into this Proverb. But if you want a detailed breakdown of what and who she is, I recommend that you get Elizabeth George’s Beautiful in God’s Eyes – Treasures of the Proverbs 31 Woman book. I devoured this book with great hunger in the hospital after birthing #4.

Here are just a few verses that struck me.

Verse 11 & 12
The heart of her husband safely trusts her.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

>>> Does my husband trust me? Not just in not committing adultery (in heart, mind and body) but in making wise decisions regarding the welfare of the family and home?

Verse 23
Her husband is known at the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.

>>> Can my husband stand tall where he is placed? Does what I do help him in his work or hold him back? Do I bug him when he is at work with frivolous requests that cause him to lose concentration while he is at work? Is he able to go to work confident that I am holding the fort well and secure at home?

What Else Does the Bible Say About Being a Godly Wife?

Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favour from the Lord.

>>> Can our husbands say that of us? That we are a “good thing”? Or is he kicking himself for having married us?!

Proverbs 19:13b
…the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping

Proverbs 21:9
Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

and

Proverbs 21:19
Better to dwell in the wilderness,
Than in with a contentious and angry woman.

This reminds me of Media Corp’s recent Channel 8 drama serial, Mars vs. Venus (ah yes! I watch trash!) where one of the wives is continually nagging her husband and constantly criticizing what he does. Oh man! It must be trying and tiring to live with a woman like that! Is our home a safe haven for our husband and children to come back to? OR would they prefer to stay out as late as possible to avoid seeing us?

Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish one pulls it down with her hands.

>>> Are we building up our house (family, husband, children)? Or are we pulling them down with our words, our actions? Do we bad mouth our husbands to our friends? Or do we speak glowingly of our husbands? Same with our children. The way we speak of them will colour how we see them over time. Call your child lazy enough times and soon that’s all you think of him!

Proverbs 12:4
An excellent wife is the crown on her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rotteness in his bones.

Yikes! Are we like rottenness in our husbands’ bones??? Do people look at us and say, “the husband is very nice but have you met the wife???” Or do they say, “they make such a lovely complementary pair”?

1 Corinthians 7:3-4
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does.

>>> Are we fulfilling our husbands’ physical needs? Do we serve vegetarian meals every night when we know he prefers steak? Are we fulfilling his sexual needs? Remember, our bodies are not our own. I am not saying that you always have to defer to his needs and ignore yours totally. There is always the avenue of appeal where we respectfully present our case and ask him to reconsider his position.

Eph 5:33
…let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ah! Do we respect our husbands? Seek his advice on matters that concern the family? I bring up the topic of food again. If you feel that switching to a vegan diet is better for all, did you discuss with him to hear his views before implementing it?

Do we override our husbands’ instructions/preferences, especially in front of the children, instead of appealing to him in private? Do we brush off his comments?

Resources? Help?

These are but a few of the things that a godly wife and mother would do well to look into.

For a more indepth discussion, Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife and Elizabeth George’s Beautiful in God’s Eyes – Treasures of the Proverbs 31 Woman are good starting points. They are great for individual personal study (which is what I have done) or use it with your Ladies Group. Either way, they will definitely help you as you pursue being a godly wife and mother. Since these issues are seldom addressed from the pulpit, these are helpful in providing encouragement and pointers on the how-tis. OR better still, if you have real life godly women in your midst, ask them to mentor you. Nothing like a real person to walk you through this important but highly challenging ministry of ours! But choose wisely! Don’t judge a book by its cover 🙂

Either way – using a book study or coming under a mentor – I emphasise again, our walk with the Lord must be right even as we follow their advice and pointers. The advice and pointers alone do not make us godly but it is the seeking of His face and being transformed into His likeness that makes us godly.

May He bless you and your family as you seek to be the godly wife and mother He has called you to be!

Related Posts

What Is A Godly Wife? A Godly Mother?
Motherhood as a ministry

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