To Love Our Children

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Have you ever wondered why Paul told Titus to tell the older women to teach the younger women to “love their children” (Titus 2:4)? Isn’t it a natural assumption that a mother will love her child? Especially when it is her natural, biological child?

I guess not. Otherwise, why would Paul give Titus this piece of advice?

No Natural Affection for Our Children?

I guess there are many points in a mother’s life which can cause her to not feel love for her child.

• Starting from pregnancy – perhaps it was a nasty surprise to find herself pregnant? And she found that it curbed her lifestyle or career?
• The birth – maybe it was traumatic, making the natural bonding session post birth a nightmare?
• The baby’s personality – was the baby a high need baby? Who then grew up to be a strong-willed toddler and then a rebellious teenager.

All these can turn a mother’s heart away and perhaps even against her children.

Too Much Farming Out?

Even the act of farming her children out to a babysitter, childcare, school, enrichment classes, can turn her heart away from her children.

A mother can become so used to NOT having her children around that the moment she has to spend more time with them, she fears and dreads it. She doesn’t know what to do with her child, except perhaps bring them out for a meal or go shopping.

How often have I heard of parents lamenting the approach of the school holidays? MANY!

They plan for it by looking for holiday classes to sign their children up for. Just so that they would limit the number of hours with their child/ren.

No wonder Paul told Titus to that we need to be taught to love our children.

What then should our attitude be?

Do we see our children as gifts from God or as burdens (or punishment) to be tolerated until they move out?

How we view them affect how we mother them. If they are gifts from God, we will cherish them, even when they make messes – physical and spiritual. But if we see them as burdens, then we are only too glad to farm them out.

Let’s Be Honest – Sometimes, They Behave in Unloveable Ways

Now, I will be the first to admit that there are times (think toddler stage and then the pre-teen-to-teen stage) when the children act up and behave in ways that are totally unlovable. And sometimes, my own exhaustion makes me see them as unloveable because I feel over-stretched and am unable to dish out any more acts of love.

What do we do? This is where prayer comes in.

Cry Out to The Lord

There have been many times I have prayed,

“Oh Lord, help me to love our children as You love them!”

“Father God, help me see them as You see them!”

God always comes through.

Reach Out to a Titus 2 Woman

Ideally, you would have a real-life Titus 2 Woman to reach out to and receive encouragement from.

But that is not the case for many of us. Then I suggest reaching out to online Titus 2 Women. You may not truly know them and if they really live out their faith, BUT, at least you have someone to talk to.

She may even have insight into the situation you are facing with your child that you can tap into. I think that is why Paul called out for the Titus 2 Woman to arise!

One more thought

It has been said that the child you feel most unloving towards is the child who NEEDS your attention and NEEDS your love the most. He is probably acting out because he feels unloved and neglected and is reaching in different ways (positive and negative) to get it. Tough isn’t it? 🙂 Well, if it isn’t tough, Paul wouldn’t have had to tell Titus to teach that to his congregation, eh?

So let us press on moms and love our children!

Related Posts

Do We Still Need a Titus 2 Woman?
Choosing Battles Wisely in Our Large Family

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