As sinful and prideful human beings, we tend to judge others based on our own beliefs, values and practices. And then conclude that the other person must be wrong if they do not follow what we do or believe. But I have learnt that this is not always fair or correct. After all, as the saying goes – you need to walk a mile* in his/her shoes before you should even begin to judge a person.
Take the sensitive issue of being a stay-at-home-mom. Some like to think they have the nobler job of sacrificing their all to be there for their child/ren. And look down with disdain at the working mom who must be definitely a self-centred mom who loves her job more than her child/ren. Is this necessarily true?
Or the other sensitive issue of breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Just because one does not breastfeed or co-sleep, does that make one a more selfish parent than one who does?
When we use ourselves as THE yardstick, we tend to become very biased and even closed-minded. We forget to be matured and open-minded to accept that there are many options out there for each family, each individual. And we should not put down the other party who does not believe what we believe. Please note though, that I am talking about trivial, non-salvation issues, not obvious sins 🙂
Therefore, unless the other person does something obviously wrong and/or objectionable, we should strive to be pleasant to one another and stop using ourselves as THE yardstick. We can state nicely and respectfully that we disagree with their choices/actions and why but we need not look down on the person.
Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
And if we are the ones being judged, don’t get offended. 🙂 Every family is different. Every family is called to do something different. If we are truly obeying the call of God in our lives and doing our best to live it out, no one has the right to put us down or to judge us. But on our part, let’s not judge others just because we wouldn’t dream of doing what they are doing.
I know, I know. It is easier said than done! Many times I have judged someone too, especially on issues that I am passionate about. May this be a reminder to you and to me the next time we want to comment on any topic but especially those we are passionate about.
Afterall, as we feel hurt that we were judged, so do we hurt those we judge without finding out their reasons behind what they do.
* I prefer the funnier version of this saying that goes – don’t judge a person till you have walked a mile in his shoes coz by then you would be a mile away and you would have his shoes! 🙂