The Teenage Years Can Be Tumultuous for Parent and Teen
Hormones waking up, immature minds thinking they can accomplish more than they really can. Condescending attitudes towards parents because they think they know more than their old, fuddy-duddy parents, a sense of restlessness …. The list goes on.
And as every parent with more than 1 child knows, each child is different. Therefore, the teenage angst that rears its head manifests itself differently in different children. Some take it in their stride, others struggle immensely with it.
My teenage years
I do not recall giving my parents any drama in my teenage years. But, I am sure that if you ask my mom, she’d probably say that I gave so much trouble all the time that the teenage years did not stand out particularly 😉 But I certainly remember thinking that I knew more than my parents. :::eye roll:::
Unchartered waters
You won’t find me writing about the teenage years much. This is in part because I am still treading unchartered waters and cannot speak with any authority on it at all. It is also because I want to respect their privacy. No one likes their dirty laundry being aired, least of all, a teen.
A reminder to you and myself is to PRAY.
The teen years can be rather trying because boundaries are being pushed and need to be re-looked and negotiated. Parents, too, have to adjust to a more assertive child.
The transition
Ideally, parents transition into an advisor/counsellor role as their children mature and assume more responsibility. However, due to many reasons, many of us fail to do that. Instead, we cling to the status quo. The result? Increasing arguments between the teen and parent.
Physical and emotional change
As their bodies change and they grapple with it, so do their emotions. It is a necessary part of maturing into an adult. It is also necessary for them to grow up and out of our shadow. They have to.
We mustn’t hold them back and stunt their growth. Yes, it is scary to let go. But if we had imparted all we can and have been diligent in training them, they will be fine.
This is the time where they are trying to find their identity and footing in this world. This is the time we need to pray and trust God even more.
Pray, not worry
To worry is useless. To read this book and that, is also useless. They only give us principles to go by. But how it will pan out for each of our children’s lives? Only God knows. Therefore, we need to draw nearer to Him to receive His wisdom on how to parent these years.
Keep the communication lines open
And always seek to keep the communication lines open. Nowadays, we have a plethora of ways to keep in contact with our teens. Sometimes it is awkward to chat with them about sensitive topics. This is when writing to them is helpful – either the old fashioned way of using pen and paper or the modern digital way via email.
Don’t give up on your child!
I truly believe that if we pray continually for them and keep the communication lines open, we will pass the teen years largely unscathed, by the grace of God.
And if you are in the deep, dark trenches now, remember what Julie Hiramine kept on saying during her Generations of Virtue talk I attended recently say, “Don’t give up on your child!”
Keep praying, keep seeking, keep trusting!
RELATED POST : The Greatest Weapon in Christian Parenting