****Disclaimer : This is not for those who know that God has called them to be in the marketplace. And for those who are managing well, working out of the home or from home, as well as being a mother.
This is to share why I have chosen to stay home. And to encourage those who are feeling the nudge of God to heed His call to stay home for this season of their lives.****
The 4 “nevers”
As Henson often tells people: there were 4 things I said I would never do.
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be a Christian,
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get married,
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have children and
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stay home to look after them.
Because our God has a great sense of humour, I am all that and more by His grace & mercy!
I CHOSE to stay home
For the record, I have willingly chosen to stay home unlike some who may have had no choice but to do so. While many women have said “Good for you!” to me, these same women will also in the same breath say that it is not for them. Somehow I have always felt that that was a backhanded compliment.
My own mother did not have a choice but to stay home to look after me and then my brother, and then, many years later, my cousins. My parents had no other childcare options. She had to stop working, which she loved (that was the time when many women started going out into the workforce), to look after me, a very strong-willed child.
To put it very mildly, she did not enjoy it. I remember her telling me in a fit of anger that she had wasted her time looking after me since I was disobedient. Plus, I did not do as well as she had expected of me in school. What has that got to do with her staying home, I don’t know since she did not help me with my homework or revisions! 😀
I stayed home because I WANTED to
So, I told myself that I would not be forced to stay home to look after my child/ren should I become a mother. I would stay home only because I wanted to do so. Not because I had no choice or that my husband made me do it or worse, because of peer pressure.
In the beginning, I thought I would have the best of both worlds by combining motherhood and career by doing part-time work. I did that for about 6 months. Without going into details, we felt that it was not working for us. So I stopped work and took over caring for our first born, full-time.
Why did I choose to stay home?
1. Children are gifts from God
I chose to stay home because I believe very strongly that children are blessings, gifts, given to us by God (yes, even though sometimes, they do not act like blessings!). As with all gifts that the Lord gives to us, blessings come with responsibilities. Since He has blessed me with children, I must be responsible and look after them, not pass the buck to someone else. All the other blessings that the Lord gives are for our comfort here on earth. But the blessing of children is an eternal one. These are eternal souls given to us by God. Think about that.
2. No one will love and care for them like me
I chose to stay home because I believe there is no one who can care and love my children as much as I do. That no matter how annoying they get, I am still their mother and will love them. To me, paying someone else to care for my children sends out a message that I have something more important or better to do than to look after them. But what can be more important than shaping these eternal souls for the Kingdom of God?
3. Influencing them for the Kingdom of God
I choose to stay home because I want to influence them for the Kingdom of God. How else can I teach them about God and His Word? Values are caught, not taught.
If I am out of the house 8 to 12 hours a day, while they remain under the care of someone else, how can I talk about the things of God “when (I) sit at home & when (I) walk along the road, when (I) lie down and when (I) get up? (Deut 6:7b).
The Bible says that I am to “impress them upon (my) children” (Deut 6:7a). Not the grandparents, not the babysitter, not the childcare teachers, but me! If I work full-time and out of the house, then all I have are snippets of time with the children.
The person/institution that cares for them 8 to 12 hours a day is the one who is influencing my children. Yes, the person/institution may be Christian but does she/it believe all you believe?
4. I stand accountable to God
At the end of the day, I stand accountable to God for how I have done MY part in raising the children. Yes, they may still make foolish decisions that lead to negative consequences, but if I have done all that I can in training them up in the way they should go (Prov 22:6), and have not been careless about their training, I believe God sees my heart and His grace indeed will be sufficient (2 Cor 12:9) for us all.
May this bless and encourage you if you are thinking of staying home to raise your children yourself.
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