Why So Many Children?

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It is a common question large families are often asked, “Why so many children?”

I have no idea why other people choose to have a large family. I can only speak for our own family. And it is not because Henson and I absolutely adore babies. Nor am I in any way the maternal sort. In fact, I never wanted children.  So how did we end up with 7 children in slightly less than 11 years?

There are 2 main reasons :

1. Children are God’s rewards.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from Him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they content with their
enemies in the gate.

Ps 127:3 – 5

Children are little blessings that the Lord sends down to us. We almost never say no to being rewarded with a fatter bank account or a bigger house or a bigger car. But how many times have you seen people shrink back in horror (mock or otherwise) when you ask them if they would like to have more children?

But society says they are a liability

What does this say about society and its view on children? As someone wrote in our local newspaper some time ago, children are often viewed as a liability, not an asset. I do not deny that the little people are hard work. That is a fact. But the work we do for them and with them has eternal repercussions. Working at the office does not 🙂

Society also celebrates barrenness

The Bible clearly say that children are blessings. But many, in today’s world, Christians included, do not see them as such. In fact barrenness is celebrated. Sought after.

People try all sorts of ways* to NOT get pregnant. But when viewed through the eyes of scriptures, barrenness is a curse from the Lord. Not something to covet.

2. God is the one who opens & closes wombs

We did not start out being quiverfull.

Note: The term “quiverfull” is used when families trust in the Lord to plan the number of children they have and even the spacing between them.

Like all intelligent and practical couples (said tongue-in-cheek) we were going to have the perfect 2-child family. And lo and behold, when we had a boy and a girl, everybody told us that we can “close shop”.

Being quiverfull

But while pregnant with our second child, I came across an large family email group (those were the days before Facebook and Instagram – imagine that!) that discussed the concept of being quiverfull. It was a strange and alien concept to me.

After all, God gave us brains, right? So shouldn’t we use our brains and plan and decide how many children we should have and how far apart they should be? Why should we throw away our brains and let God lead and plan our lives?

And yet, something about the quiverfull philosophy spoke to me and like a good wife, 😛  I shared it with Henson.

Do we really trust God?

Interestingly, both of us came to the same conclusion. We say we that we trust God. We also say that He is in control and He knows best. And so we put our lives and souls into His hands. Yet, here we are, trying to control our own fertility. (Do we actually have control over our fertility???)

So what does that say about our faith in Him?

If we say that the Bible is right, that children are blessings and rewards from God, then why are we saying NO to more babies?

I was self-centred

For me, there was only one reason why I was saying no – self-centredness and selfishness. Having more than two children would inconvenience me even more than what I was already dealing with.

Children are hard work. Having more babies meant that I would have to postpone many of my dreams. The more children we have, the longer I have to postpone those dreams.

And… I would like to lose the baby weight and get back to pre-pregnancy size again! Like I said, they were selfish and self-centred reasons.

Taking a step of faith

So in an act of faith, we decided to take God at His word and trust Him to plan out the number of children He has for us and even the spacing of the children. It has been an exciting adventure as we were then very quickly blessed with 7 children in 11 years!

Is it easy? Nope!

And let me tell you, it is tiring too. But the faith walk is never easy and we thank God that He knows how weak our faith is. He is ever so gracious to meet us at our level of faith.

What if…

We freely admit that sometimes we think about all the what ifs. And worry that we could have 12 children or more before I hit menopause. But this line of thought is presumptuous and boastful.

On Hindsight: No, we do not have 12 children here on earth. We only have 7 but 4 are with Jesus. So it is indeed presumptuous to think that one could have x number of children. Because we never know His plans for us. 

My challenge to you

Do you really trust God as you say you do? Have you trusted Him in every area of your life? What is holding you back?

May this challenge you if you are thinking about having another child but think you are being impractical. Following God does not seem practical. What He calls us to do may not seem wise. But whose standards are we following when we say something is impractical or unwise? God’s? Or the world’s system?

Yes, little people are hard work. Little children that need to be trained drains away your energy. BUT and I say this to myself all the time when I am feeling down – God has a purpose for each of these little people and He gave them to you and me to raise them up for Him. What an honour to be chosen! What a privilege.

Why so many children?

So that is why we have the number of children we have. Will we have more? I am content to stop here. And I have been content to stop way back when we had two. But I don’t know what the Lord has in store for us. I can only pray for His strength and wisdom to raise them right.

Related Posts

Miscarriage Grief
Doing Devotionals with the Children
Setting Up Routines to Beat the Overwhelm

* I have also learnt that almost all chemical and hormonal contraceptives act as an abortifacient. These contraception methods work on two levels – a) prevent the egg from being fertilised by the sperm and b) if that fails and fertilisation should occur, make the uterine wall hostile to the embryo so that it is unable to attach itself to the uterine wall. Meaning it causes your body to abort the baby. 

Updated on 29th October 2017.
This post was originally published on 9th September 2006 as “Are They All Yours?”

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