When you teach your child to say “please”, do remember to also teach him that a “please” does not always guarantee getting him his way 🙂
Our 20 month old daughter loves to nurse. Especially when she is bored 😛 She often toddles to me many times a day asking for “milk milk”. I have been teaching her that she has to say “please, mama” when she requests to nurse. First by signing and now verbally. And she has been complying.
Please???
However, I am not always able nor wish to nurse her whenever she wants to. So I have been telling her to wait or saying “no” to her. She isn’t pleased, of course. So she has taken to saying, “pleeeeaseeee mama!!!” loudly 🙂
Do I give in to her? Nope. She has to learn to wait and to accept that a no means no.
It reminded me of an incident where an older boy was very insistent that he wanted a toy that my much younger child was playing with. He kept on saying, “Please! Please! Please!” The mother just sat there, smiling at him indulgently.
Nope
Sorry my friend, I don’t see why I should force my child to give up her toy just because you want it and said “please”. There were lots of other toys that he could play with.
In the same way, I do not allow my children to take toys away from others (siblings or friends) just because they want to play with it now. Wait your turn.
Saying “please” and “thank you” is an etiquette issue. It does not mean that you’ll get your way just because you were polite. Do remember to teach that to your children. They need to know that there are boundaries in life and being polite does not allow them a free pass.