The word “No” and toddlers are like oil and water. They don’t mix. But the toddler can be taught to respect “no”. If you are firm and consistent.
The toddler years are both intensely cute and frustrating. It is the season they will push boundaries hard. But teach them well these years and your parenting years will be slightly more pleasant.
Packing and the toddler
In the past 2 days over at Facebook, I saw 2 comments that were almost word-for-word replicas of each other. Both friends were packing for their year-end holidays and both were complaining about their toddlers helping to unpack their stuff while they were desperately trying to pack 🙂
To a toddler, I think seeing mom packing huge amounts of stuff is their idea of heaven 🙂 I remember having the same challenge when we had to move to a new home. We had boxes everywhere. The kids were simply delighted, taking turns to peer and unpack and examine and then re-pack the item into another box.
Ahhh!!!
But there was a very simple solution which I had forgotten to put in place before I started packing. I should have laid down the rules even before I started packing….
Just say no
Yep. That’s it. NO taking things out without permission. NO opening up boxes that have been placed in certain designated spots in the house. NO unpacking and playing with the toys that have been put away. And NO climbing up on boxes that have been stacked up.
NO.
No and your toddler
Simple and effective? Yes and no 🙂
Yes if you have been training and teaching your child obedience. No if you have not. Don’t be afraid of using “no” on your toddler.
But be reasonable. Don’t expect him to just sit quietly and watch you for hours while you pack. Give him something to do and you work FAST. Set a timer so that he knows you will be done when the timer goes off instead of just saying, “I am almost done.” Toddlers (and some adults) have no concept of time.
Try it!
So have you been tearing your hair out while packing for your holiday? Have you tried saying “no” to your toddler? Or do you have to waste time twiddling your fingers until your little one has gone to sleep to get to your task?
By the way, the “no” concept applies to the wrapping of presents too. Again, you could always wait for the little one to go to bed then wrap the presents or you could say “no” 😛
NO touching the scotch tape dispenser. NO playing with the scissors. NO rolling and unrolling the wrapping paper. And NO peeling open the presents that have been wrapped.
Do they understand “no”?
Oh yes they do. I think it is one of the first words they learn to articulate after “mama”! Haven’t you heard them going “nooooooo!” when they don’t want to go where you want them to go? 🙂
A toddler definitely understands the meaning of “no”. When he chooses to continue doing what he wants to do, it is not due to non-comprehension but disobedience. How are you planning to deal with that? Don’t get held hostage by your child!
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9 Comments on Just say “no”
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it CAN backfire in the long run.
How so, Sam?
they grow up and rebel, like mine.
Saying “No” definitely is the way to go in instilling what a toddler shouldn’t be doing. I guess in view of their developmental needs (esp for those who are slightly more susceptible to ignoring instructions!) I would suggest saying “yes” at the same time to something else? Like “no” you may not touch the luggage bags but “yes” you may have that bag of toys to play with while mommy is packing. I find that works very well with my super duper active and curious 1.5yr old! Then again my sample size is n=1 for now. 😛
Sure C. That’s is another way but be sure that he hears “no” and responds to that as well. Do read my Just Because you said “please”
We don’t always have to say “no” but when we do, they need to heed it.
Do you get called a Nazi Mom whether directly or indirectly? You know how people say ‘later police catch you’, only instead of ‘police’, it’s ‘Aunty Serene’?
But of course Angela! I even wrote a piece about this sometime back called “No, I Won’t!” It really annoys me 🙁
But honestly, what works for u might not work for another. So saying no for u may work but may not work for the other mothers. maybe the kids are really rebellious, or maybe the personality type or style of the mother or even the child is different from yours. So you cannot simply imply that the answer is so easy and those mothers are just so blur not to know of this situation.
Our kids are not ‘cookie cutter’ kids, so all of them are different.
Susan. I do not expect children to obey an instruction without being taught 🙂 The answer is easy if we would train the child/ren.
I leave you with this quote from J.C. Ryle Training Children With Grace and Truth, “To my eyes, a parent always yielding, and a child always having its own way, are a most painful sight – painful, because I see God’s appointed order of things inverted and turned upside down – painful, because I feel sure the consequence to that child’s character in the end will be self-will, pride, and self-conceit.”